Sunday, November 03, 2002

I am exhausted by school. I am exhausted by the prospect of being in school for the next year and a half, bare minimum, to finish my BA. I am exhausted by the concept of grd school and by the concept of teachers' college and its neverending stream of group work. I am exhausted by essays. I am exhausted by lectures. I am exhausted by group work, which has no place in a university class when it's used every single day. I am exhausted by seminars. I am exhausted by overheads. I am exhausted by student government. I am exhuasted by my own inability to take proper notes. I am exhausted by Granatstein's theories of political history. I am exhausted by Mikhail Bakhtin. I am exhausted by Atwood, by Leacock, by Moodie. I am exhausted by Pepys, by Swift, by Wilmot. I hate school right now and want nothing more than to run away to Denial, Mexico to live out the rest of my days in the sun reading nothing more intellectual than Archie comic books.

Of course, I will not do this. I will Soldier On; it's what people in my family do. I will finish my undergrad out with an average slightly above 80%, and maybe win another award. I will then teach high school to students and inspire them to the heights of apathy I have reached.

I know there is a light at the end of this tunnel; it's just a matter of finding it. Apathy fades quickly, and hopefully soon I'll be back on the road to being intrigued by Learning, Ideas and Knowledge. I hope. I'm in trouble if things don't start to change...

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