Tuesday, November 21, 2006

with so much drama in the L-A-C...


There is a video game commercial for Gears of War that includes Gary Jules' "Mad World" in it and it's wonderfully effective...very creepy and very cool. Not that I particularly care about video games, or next gen systems, but I like a good piece of marketing when it shows up.

I have, as some of you have noticed, been feeling out of sorts lately. On the surface, things are going very well for me. The job, so far, has been very rewarding. I am spending lots of good, quality time with people that I care deeply about. I am dating someone who makes me very happy. And yet, there is something that isn't quite right. I'm not quite sure how to put it into words, because I'm not quite sure what exactly it is that I am talking about.

If I had to guess, I'd say that maybe 60% of this is due to the change in seasons. This time of year always gets to me a little bit like that. I want everything I eat to be carb-tastic; I want to wear jammies and stay in bed; I want to watch a lot of TV. I need to push myself into being more active, because I feel so incredibly lethargic these days. Part of it is due to last week's airport misadventure, when Mum's 11:30 p.m. flight was delayed by 3 hours, and we didn't get back from picking her up until 4 a.m. My circadian rhythm has been a mess ever since.

The other 40%...well...it breaks down a little something like this: I am intellectually understimulated, and I don't feel very good about myself right now. It's not even that I dislike myself, but I am apathetic. Normally when I look in the mirror, I see things that I like, and things that I don't like. Right now, I just see a face. Nothing else.

And the person I want to talk to most right now couldn't be farther away from me.

5 comments:

starlite said...

sorry about the blahs girl.. It happens.. hang in there.. hugs hugs hugs. If you need to chat or vent or go for a coffee or tea chat you know where to find me!
...*

Anonymous said...

Who is the person that you want to talk to the most?

fineskylark said...

The boy. He's up in Manitoulin for the week fulfilling his bloodlust. Or his dad's bloodlust. Or something. He actually bagged his first deer a couple of days ago and I don't think he was all that happy about it.

It's just hard because even when I don't see him, I usually talk to him, and it's very strange not to. Talking with him has become a big part of the way that I process information, I think, and I am having a hard time because he is not here.

Anonymous said...

Um, I wish I were on Manitoulin. But not for the bloodlust. I'm kind of anti (bad indian!)bloodlust. Oh well..less to hit when driving on the island...

Chin up sweet pea!

Caitie said...

you are a knob. and need to be better intellectually stimiulated. due to this, i have assigned you an assignment. yoou will write 10-12 pages on theories of power and equality. and be ready to present your conference paper for this on monday. your abstract is due sunday night. you can do it. and please hand it in with my name on it.
thank you very much