where has all the blogging gone?

Well, cherished readers, if you are still around, I owe you an apology and an explanation.** This last month has been a difficult one for me, as I have been sorting out some personal and health issues, and researching and writing my not-thesis. My first draft is due next Monday, and I'm about half done right now. I've also started working again...and yes, I am at THSWSNBN, but no longer as an interpreter. I'm now the admission clerk.

To be honest, all that exposition aside, I just haven't felt like writing recently. A lot of that has to do with the personal and health issues mentioned above: there are simply somethings that don't bear writing about. There are other things for which I simply do not have the words. That said...I think I have unblocked myself, and hopefully I won't be afraid of words anymore.

If my summer research project should prove to be of interest to any of you, readers, I'll briefly describe it (though I am afraid it's got nothing on Ross's). I am looking at costumed interpretation on historic sites as a performance of nationalism; more specifically, as a performance that reflects social policy and the dominant ideology through its conception of the nation. I'm using THSWSNBN as my case study, and interviewing some of the staff, which has proved to be an interesting experience.

**Consider this a semi-official answer to the important question of "Who do you write for, when blogging?" I am writing for you.

midnight waters

It has been rather a while, hasn't it. Apologies for that; suffice to say, that there are some things in life that simply don't bear blogging about. I am also rapidly approaching my burn out point with my education at the moment, and highly suspect that no one wants to read about the disillusionment of an English student. It just wouldn't be pretty.

Things feel like they are on the upswing today, and I am going to try to keep them that way. Ain' nothing going to break my style; can't nobody hold me down. Or something.

Recap of the last little while: school, school, school, eyes checked (still worse!), Episode III (about what I thought it would be), home for a rest (yay, home), bits of working at various former jobs (yay, money!), 3 pitch softball with a team called Mantackle, and new books by Giles Blunt. Hurray for the wicked fictitious Algonquin Bay!

I've decided that one of my new projects will be to collect at least one published work from each of my professors who have published works.

confessions of a snarkaholic

I have received provisionary approval from UGoo's Research Ethics Board for my summer project, pending a few minor changes to the wording of my forms. Huzzah for that! Now if only I can find out if THSWSNBN will let me in.

I've been doing ghastly amounts of reading (even for me) these last few weeks, including, at long last, a Shopaholic book. See, by rights, I should (and generally do) have a healthy hate-on for chick lit, but enough of my friends and acquaintances read it that I occasionally feel that I should read one just in case I am missing something. (Plus, a friend of mine from school is writing a paper on the Shopaholic series and commodity fetishism, and it's fascinating, so I want to be prepared for that.)

In the end, though, I always remember (after reading something from the chick lit genre) how much I am not the novel's target audience, which greatly diminishes my relationship with the book.

Fortunately, I have lots of other reading that has been more worthwile, including Barbara Kirschblatt-Gimlett's Destination Culture: Tourism, Identity, and Commodity. It's awesome.

I still hate reality TV, too.

A Good Cause

A few days ago, I received an email from a very good friend, my darling Kristabelle. Normally, I wouldn't pass on a request for money, but this is something that is very real (I'll let Krista tell you about that part) and totally legit. Please, please donate if you can--even if it's only $5--and if you let me know through the comments or email, I'll knit you something as a thank you. Oh, and pass this along if you can, or if you know of someone else who might want to help.

Hey everyone,

This year my family (my WHOLE family) is going to participate in the Canadian
Cancer Society Relay for Life. That's right!! Dad, Meredith, Mark, Kayla,
Chad, Steve, Mitch, Aurora and I will be working as a team to participate in the
Relay. Why you ask? One simple answer: in rememberance of my mother Cheryl
Elizabeth Caldwell-Ellam.

For those of you who don't know her let me tell you a little about her so you
can understand why this is important to us.

My mother was an amazing person. She MADE me and my brothers and sister the
people we are today. She inspired us to be the people we are today. When she
looked at us she only saw our potential to greatness in this everchanging world.
My mother worked hard to ensure that we never went without. She brought us up
to care about each other and other people. My mother did not only focus on us.
When the neighbourhood skating building was condemned and torn down, my mother
got together with the other community members and raised the money to build us a
bigger and better community centre. Just for the neighbourhood kids, that was
us. My mother also came to every single softball game Kayla and I ever played
until she got sick. She never wanted to miss a game. She would cheer us on
again and again whether we won or lost. My mother also worked hard to fullfil
our life dreams. I wanted to fly a plane. My mother said yes and handed over
the money. I wanted to go to Nebraska for a drama festival. She said yes
again. I wanted to go to England. She said "Krista, I don't have the money for
that, but if you can raise it yourself I will help with everything else." And I
did so she did. She made me call her right before we left to catch our flight
and she was awake when I got home at 5 am to greet me. My mother was an amazing
person.

We found out that my mother was sick in September 1999. I will never forget
that day. I could see the pain in her eyes as she tried to tell us that it
would be alright. They could fix her. It wasn't going to be that bad. Everyone
cried. Everyone just stopped and cried together. I just didn't know what to
do. No one did. We just sat and cried.

My mother died in August 2000. That was the saddest day in my whole life. I
never got to say goodbye. I woke up one morning to get ready for work to find
my aunt and uncle had come over, teary eyed, to tell us the horrible news. She
was dead. She was never coming back. I would never see her again. The worst
part is that I hadn't talked to her all that past week. She had been in and out
of the hospital for a variety of reasons and I was mad at her. I am sure that
it was something stupid at the time. Regardless, I am sure that my mother had
forgiven me. Mothers forgive their silly daughters unconditionally. Anyway,
that was the longest day of my life. My family gathered at my aunts house and
it seemed like I was living in a dream. We sat around and did nothing. My dad
came over. I was never so thankful to see him. He was the only support I felt
like I had at the time. My rock so to say. I just wanted to go home and go
back to bed and wake up to a beautiful day where my world kept turning like any
other 19 year old's. That was not to be. My life was changed forever. My whole
family had regrets. We all felt like we were responsible for her death. But we
didn't do anything, we didn't kill her. Cancer did, plain and simple.

So (let me just wipe the tears away from my eys), this year my family is
participating in the Canadian Cancer Society Relay for Life. We need your help
and support. I am sending you this painfully personal to ask you to donate
whatever you can so that we can raise money for cancer research. This is
important to me and to my family. So please give whatever you can.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.
Love, Krista

Click here to donate money to Krista's run.

I never got to meet Krista's mom, as Krista and I first crossed paths about a month after her death, but I have met her legacy in her four kids. My dad survived skin cancer, but not everyone is that lucky--cancer research of all kinds is incredibly important.

sacred cows

Am at home for the next week or so, so expect updates to be sporadic--we are still a one-computer household here. Sort of. This may change when the Squidge gets home, I think.

I've been trying to relax, which has gone reasonably well so far. I've seen both Hitchhiker and the remake of the Amityville Horror, read some very bad books, as well as some really good fantasy. There has also been a lot of listening to showtunes, mostly because I went to Toronto with my mom in her new car, which is the first one that she's had with a CD player in it. Pretty exciting, all in all.

Teen Nerd Squad should also reconvene sometime this week, at a new tea house called Serendipi Tea.

Star Wars soon!

news bits from around the world

First, George Lucas does this. I mean, really, a TV series? Will it follow the timeline of Timothy Zahn's Heir to the Empire? Will it be interesting if there are no (or, next to none, if George will follow his own bloody universe) Jedi? Inquiring minds need to know. Let us simply hope that George will not be interested in writing or directing this himself...

Second, Germany sees some real life weird stuff happening, as their toads start to explode for no real reason. Weeeeeird.

Third, Canada's political turmoil continues, as Stephen Harper renews his vow to bring a vote of no cofidence to the House of Commons after the Liberals scrammer together a deal with the NDP. The Globe and Mail seem pissy about it, the Star calls the deal between Prime Minister Paul Martin and New Democrat leader Jack Layton "a life line", the Sun has a bunch of whining from Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty about not being consulted about the deal or the new budget, and the Post has something about Layton defending the deal. (Note: A lot of this stuff is actually Canadian Press stuff, so attributing it to each paper is not etnirely gair; however, it is interesting to note which papers are printing which articles, no?)

Off (hopefully) to see Bride and Prejudice tonight. Skylark out.

I hope I never

So I wrote this post last night, and then my internet connection timed out on me, thus preventing me from updating the poor blog.

It seems to me sometimes, that no matter where I am, what I'm doing, or how I am feeling, Neil Finn has written a song that somehow manages to encapsulate perfectly everything that I am at that moment, in words far more prefect than any I could ever choose. That's not entirely true, I suppose, but still sometimes it is easier to let the Finn do the talking. And right now, when the Finn is talking, he is talking along the lines of I Got You:

I got you - that's all I want
I won't forget - that's a whole lot
I don't go out - not now that you're in
Sometimes we shout - but that's no problem

I don't know why sometimes I get frightened
You can see my eyes, you can tell that I'm not lyin'

patchwork girl

Apologies for my sporadic blogging behaviour as of late; I remember all too well when blogging was a tool that allowed me to procrastinate on doing work. Never did I dream that one day I would, in fact, be too busy to blog. Things have settled down quite substantially, now. No more papers, no more exams to mark, no more summer research proposal...for the time being it is all good, from San Diego to the 'hood, as someone I used to know (roommate's boyfriend from first year) would say.

I have finally linked to Ross over at randomdanglingmystery. Sometimes these things are much more difficult than they really ought to be.

Went out last night to see what Guelph Reads was all about, after drinking beer to celebrate the end of ENGL2080. It was really good; all of the panelists were quite well-spoken--especially Dionne Brand, who I could listen to all day long. T. Sher Singh impressed me the most (he championed Ishmael), along with Marva Wisdom (the National Policy Chair for the federal Liberals), who impressed me not so much for her defense of Tom King's The Truth About Stories but for her determination to help Canada realize how much attention the "native question" ought to be getting, and how important that relationship really is.

I could post another 1000+ word rant on how Canada has dealt with its aboriginal people, but I will save that for another day, and get back to spring cleaning.

Day the Mine

This is the first day I have to myself in a while, so I am to head to toronto, where I will meet the Momatron (or, as she prefers, Mommy-O) at the CBC building, and we shall adventure from there, before having supper and then seeing a musical that is not about ABBA. Should be lots of fun.

It's exam marking time around these parts. The marks aren't due til Friday, though, so it's all good. Current plans for the rest of the week: marking, summer research proposal, conference paper proposal, major spring cleaning of apartment, driving lesson.

And if I'm really good, some Baldur's Gate II.

Damn, it feels good to be a geek.

room to breathe

I woke up at 7 this morning. It took me, as it does most mornings, about ten minutes to talk myself out of the warm, flannely bed, but once I was up, the world seemed a little more focused. (relatively speaking, I am still blind, of course).

Then I wrote a 3812 word paper. In 8 hours. It was awesome.*

I then hopped a bus to the school, slid the paper 1/2 an hour before the deadline, and ran away.

Thus endeth the last courses I may ever take in English literature. This is a pretty scary thought. I do not want to be grown up. And yet, I mailed in my tuition deposit to the Northern School just yesterday.

geeks, rejoice!

*By awesome, I mean awesomely stupid. But it's done.

guelph reads

Guelph Reads seeks to uncover books that can result in social and political change. There will be a debate next Friday about this.

more non-postage

Stolen from desbladet

You're stuck inside Fahrenheit 451, which book do you want to be?
Conrad's Heart of Darkness. Sometimes I am afraid that I am the heart of darkness. Very twee of me, but perhaps a bit real as well.

Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?
I quite like Alex Cross, from the pulpy but lovely James Patterson series. And perhaps a bit of Horatio Hornblower as well.

The last book you bought was:
Hrm. Tori Amos's new not-quite-biography. I think it's called Piece by Piece or some such. It was a birthday present for the lovely Kristabelle. I also purchased Phillip Pullman's The Ruby in the Smoke and Leonard Cohen's Beautiful Losers for myself at the same time.

What are you currently reading?
As Des says, what aren't I reading? Various books on Python, various articles on drag, gay culture, masculinity and femininity, various blogs, Harry Potter, and the Chronicles of Narnia. And the stuff in the sidebar over there.

Five books you would take to a deserted island:
+The Riverside Shakespeare (2nd edition) [pretty plays, pretty pictures, load of critical and source material]
+the Norton Anthology of Poetry (4th edition) [pretty poems, and nearly 1500 pages of them]
+the Bible, King James Version (1611 edition) [pretty language, and I need to finish this--I keep getting stuck after the first five books]
+The Deptford Trilogy (Robertson Davies) [saints, miracles, Jungian psychoanalysis, lesbians, magicians, and Ontario Scots. Could anything be more perfect?]
+1984 (George Orwell) [So that the future society that is created from me will be wary of the dangers that may befall them.]

Who are you going to pass this stick to (3 persons) and why?
The Writer. And anyone else who wants it.

and now for something completely indifferent

This is in lieu of a real entry, 'cause really, who wants really entries? Actually, the real entries will be forthcoming, once I gear the little rig up and move myself into academic mode. Some neat things are in the works currently, not the least of which is my decision to return to Nipissing for my Bachelor of Education. Thanks to everyone who sent notes of congratulations. I think this will end up being a leave of absense, so to speak, from academia, more than the Exit, stage right that I am sometimes afraid of. TAing this term has really made me like teaching again, so this is promising.

Holy crap, there is a spider in the keyboard. Scary! (Yes, in, not on).

Anyhow. The promised non-entry, before this one looks too much like one of my actual entries:

01. What is the total number of music files on your computer?
I think I've topped out at about 700 right now, but I haven't really counted in a while. My intense downloading days are long passed.
02. What is the last CD you bought?
Tori Amos's The Beekeeper. I'm a bit of a latecomer to the Awesomeness that is Tori, but I'm figuring stuff out.
03. What is the song you last listened to before reading this message?
I'm not sure in terms of actual stats, but the last song in my head was The Beatles' All My Loving.
04. Name the five(ish) albums that mean the most to you. (Not the 5 albums you would take to a desert island.)
i) Twice Removed (Sloan)
ii) Blue (Joni Mitchell)
iii) Recurring Dream (Crowded House) [Yes, I know it should be a real album here and not a greatest hits, but I can't tell you the number of hours spent listening to this on various roadtrips, and it went to France with me when I was fifteen.]
iv) Please Please Me (The Beatles) [Again, could have chosen Sgt. Pepper, but this album is just very me. Very young me, but very me nonetheless.]
v) We Were Born In A Flame (Sam Roberts Band)

05. Name the five songs you are listening to the most right now.

i) When You Come (Crowded House)
ii) Yer So Bad (Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers)
iii) Ain't That A Kick In the Head (Robbie Williams)
iv) The Philosophers' Beer Drinking Song (Monty Python)
v) How to Fight Loneliness (Wilco)

06. Name the first five best lyrics that come into your head.

i) "When you come to cover me with your kisses hard like armour/ the sooner the better now" (Crowded House; When You Come)
ii) "I want you to know I feel completely at ease/ you can read me like a book/ that's fallen down between your knees/ please/ let me have my way with you" (Crowded House; It's Only Natural)
iii) "To those of us who knew the pain/ Of valentines that never came/ And those whose names were never called/ When choosing sides for basketball/ It was long ago and far away/ The world was younger than today/ And dreams were all they gave for free/ To ugly duckling girls like me" (Janis Ian; At 17)
iv) "Rely a bit too heavily on alcohol and irony./ Get clobbered on by courtesy, in love with love, and lousy poetry./ And I'm leaning on a broken fence between Past and Present tense./ And I'm losing all these stupid games that I swore I'd never play." (The Weakerthans; Aside)
v) "I'm in love with the world/ through the eyes of a girl/ who's still around/ the morning after" (Elliott Smith; Say Yes)

07. Who are you going to pass this stick to (three people) and why?
Well, I stole it from The Writer. But it can be passed on to whomever.

Note the heavy Finnfluence?

back to North Bay Rock City?

According to Nipissing's webadvisor, I have been offered admission to the BEd program for next year.

Hurray.

one day at a time

I just finished watching Rick Mercer's Monday Report for the first time, and I've gotta say...I wasn't impressed. It's not that I think Rick should exist only in his nice little This Hour Has 22 Minutes box--Made In Canada is lovely, vicious, and delightful. I guess that it's just that I feel everything he wants to do on Monday Report was simply better when he did it on 22 Minutes. I think Mercer benefits from the group dynamic.

I think my favourite 22 Minutes moment is still the one where Marg Delahunty (Mary Walsh) goes to see Stockwell Day dressed in a wetsuit (playing on Day's recent press conference, which he arrived at on a Sea-Doo). For a reason that escapes me, she then makes a joke about wanting to bring him some milk, but not being able to because all the store had was homo milk (homogenized milk is 3.25% m.f. in Canada) which, of course, Stockwell wouldn't like, being the leader of the most conservative political party. Either that or the time that the very same Stockwell Day said that any issue brought forth to his government (if elected) via a petition with a certain number of signatures would be put to referendum. Rick Mercer proposed a referenda that would compel Stockwell to change his first name to Doris. If I remember correctly, the petition got well over a million signatures.

It's always interesting to see which politicians will participate in shows like 22 Minutes and Royal Canadian Air Farce. Even when it's someone whose politics I don't necessarily agree with, I still tend to hve a lot of respect for someone like, say, Preston Manning, who was just awesome on bits like "I Love That Word Refooooorm".

Air Farce actually has the last five or so seasons available to watch online. If you're interested, I was at the taping of this episode and this one. The Open book With Mary Walsh skit in this episode was filmed when I was there, and features Luba Goy as Margaret Atwood (she does a vicious Atwood) and Roger Abbott as Wary Walsh, dressed in her Marg Delahunty, Princess Warrior.

sad, sad, sad

There really isn't much I can say about this, except that it's quite sad, of course.

May flights of angels sing him to his rest.

here comes peter cottontail

Home for the long weekend, at last--however briefly, as am off to visit Family tomorrow, and then to return to Guelph. I have done a considerable amount of traveling these last few days, and I must say that I am growing tired of it, and I am becoming more and more hopeful that I will soon be able to just stay in Guelph for a bit.

Home is a good place, with cats and knitting and friends. I am reading a couple of new books, which makes for a pretty happy Rhi. I am not doing the homework that I ought to be doing, which also makes for a pretty happy Rhi. Unfortunately the school is open on Monday, so I have to head back. Unfortunately that means I have to finish reading The Rover, too--finally.

I have more to write but I'll save it for after the weekend.

read me like a book

Yesterday went quite well, actually. I think--the 15 minutes in which I gave my paper have actually disappeared into a black void. I remember the question period, though--I got great questions about webcams and voyeurism, onine copyright, gendering blogspace, and how authority is established in blogs, particularly those those that deal with politics.

I've also been encouraged to think seriously about publishing what I presented, so perhaps that will be part of my summer's work. After playing video games, writing Finn: The Musical, and other such drunken debauchery.

I've been pretending to be Mr. Butlertron (from Clone High) to my sisters this morning on MSN. He gets all the best lines, Wesley.

what's the worst thing I could do?

Well, project blogger is....doing something. The printer and I are still trying to reconcile our differences; if it breaks and I have to buy a new one, I swear to...someone...that I will be a very, very unhappy Rhi.

Which is much worse than a very, very nervous Rhi, which is what I am right now. God, I hate public speaking.

time for bed

My computer is making some pretty grumpy noises as it prints out my fourth and hopefully final draft of the damned paper for the day--and of course, as I write that it decides to crap out all together. It really has some issues about printing longer documents. If only C3P0 were here to talk to it and find out if I've polarized one of the cables or something.

I am absolutely terrified of tomorrow, but I'm trying to pretend that I'm not. I hope I sleep well, but somehow I doubt it. The best part of the whole presentation is that the room we've reserved for the conference is (probably) the only room on the whole stupid campus that doesn't have a network connection in it. So instead of looking at blogs and posting to blogs, I'll be making people look at screenshots of blogs. boourns to that.

Oh well. At least I'm early enough in the morning that I will get it over with and be able to enjoy everyone else's presentations for the rest of the day.