In like a lamb, out like a...lamb?

I write this entry from the boyfriend's bed in Sudbury, as he plays a Warcraft game beside me. I wrote my exams on Monday during the day, ate pizza with my friends Monday night, and packed like a fiend until Tuesday, when I came here. I have five glorious days here (3.5 of which have already happened) before I head home and to my final month. of school.

I am still in C-wood for the next month, but I have found a family friend to live with, and will apparently have lots of internet access and will only be five minutes from my school. All things considered, I am pretty lucky.

My father retires from his job today. He has been a police officer since he was 18, and he is currently two weeks shy of his 53rd birthday. I can't imagine what it feels like to leave behind something that has defined so much of his life. That said, I do know that he is quite ready to leave, and start his next adventure, which rumour has it will be installing hardwood floors in the house.

The littlest skylark got into the college program of her choice today. I am very proud of her.

and in the end the love you take

School will be over tomorrow around 3. Over forever, once I lay down that pen from filling in the Scantron bubbles for Special Education. Over until I choose to come back. If I ever do.

For the longest time, I never thought I would reach this point in my life. School has been life to me since I was old enough to read. Since I am now trained as an educator of some kind, school isn't really over, but I will be sitting on the other side of the fence. If I get a job.

This year has been really interesting. A much easier one than the last, in most ways, but harder still in some. The community formed by the people I have met is such a quick, fragile one...but strong in its own way, and may last far longer than any of us imagine. I came to the realization the other night that the one thing in my life that I am truly desperate for is to be liked by other people. I don't know why I want that, but that's how it is, for some reason.

For all of you who do like me, I am thankful. I don't know where we will find ourselves after this year, but this year would have been very different without you. I hope that some day I will be able to tell you that, and that some day I will understand what it is that you like about me.

We are all stronger people after this year. We are all one step closer to being who we want to. That, more than anything else, is worth celebrating.

pretty hate machine

Hell week is truly living up to its name this week.

I just got my third placement info - I'm at a school in Collingwood, which is some 56 km. from my house, and I have zero way to get there. This means that I will be looking for a place to live for one month, and I have zero way to pay for that. In short, I am so screwed.

I will going to the Practice Teaching Office later today to talk to them about it, but they are notoriously intractable in these matters. I have no idea what I am going to do.

I just want to go back to sleep

erin go braghless

Today I was given a choice between staying at a bar and going to my favourite secondhand bookstore. I chose to stay in the bar, because I thought that would be cheaper than going to a bookstore.

I think that statement tells you everything you need to know about me.

Old Friends Week

I am in my second last week of post-secondary education for the foreseeable future. (This count doesn't include that pesky practicum that I still don't know anything about.) This would be much more exciting except for the following factors: a variety of stupid assignments + complete lack of ambition + general apathy; all of which contribute to a very unproductive skylark. As long as I manage to buckle down this week, though, everything should be okay.

And one of the nice things about this program is that it's virtually impossible to flunk out...

It is officially Old Friends Week here in North Bay, and I am expecting (hoping?) to touch base with almost ten people I haven't seen in ages this week...including the one that I am most excited about, the Schrode! Whom I haven't seen in nigh on three years now, and who I think it is also pretty excited for seeing me. Jo and Dante are close seconds, though.

Saints-Martyrs-des-Damnees has been given a domestic release, at long last, but unfortunately it is proving somewhat elusive here in Ontario. Amazon and Chapters want me to pay upwards of $30 for it, and as much as I want to see it, that is a little too rich for my blood.

two minute hate

I am leisurely planning for tomorrow...I have three lessons from a unit on Orwell and 1984 due, of which I currently have two. 1984 just makes me so happy. If I ever get to teach one of the senior literature English courses (as opposed to the core University prep) I fully intend to teach one solely on dystopic literatures.

I also have my portfolio due so I will be shucking that together this afternoon as well.

I need a good culminating project for my 1984...

Atwood checks in at the big G with her remininsces about the book.

under, above, on and in: my skin

Those of you who remember the halcyon days of my undergrad at Nip will remember my feminist theory class and our study of Shelley Jackson's _Patchwork Girl_ (which more of you should read if you haven't). This was my first exposure to the world of hypertext and it was just incredible: even the problems of the text are magnificent.

Anyhow, I thought I'd check back in with Shelley to see what she is upto today, and it is a doozy. She is currently doing the SKIN Project: "SKIN is a mortal work of art: a story tattooed on readers' bodies, one word at a time."

Though tattoos usually aren't something I think too much about, this has got me incredibly intrigued...a mortal work of art, which is constantly in motion as its words grow older. I wish I could participate...but I don't know if I could. Would you, reader?

I'll fly away...

This is a crazy idea. I'd love to do that....if only, you know, I wasn't afraid of flying so much. Or pot, for that matter.

I am so tired right now I could probably go to bed now and wake up for my 6:30 head out time tomorrow. I only have to survive tomorrow (and tomorrow's lesson on birth control) and then I'm homefree for a bit, what with the PA day on Friday and my graduation on Monday.

there are no cats in America

Grade seven is the craziest stuff ever. My class is literally everything you could imagine it to be. Those of you who have survived the BEd will know what I'm talking about--basically all of those scenarios, all of those things that they tell you to watch out for in class, have shown up in my grade sevens. It's so...wow. Intense, to say the least.

I started teaching 'the math' today. Rate and ratios...well...my math vocabulary is a little off, and I find it hard to explain things when I can just see how they look. Isn't that dumb? Tomorrow I keep going with the math and start with the sex ed; specifically the birth control. It's going to be an experience, that's fo' sho'. I'm thinking about emailing Scarleteen and asking if they would be willing to add a teacher section to their site.

There's a swastika on one of the desks in my classroom and it makes me want to cry every time I look at it.

I'm just second hand news...

According to the UofG website, Scott "Griffin Prize for Poetry" Griffin will be my convocation speaker for the College of Arts graduation next Monday. He's also Scott "House of Anasi Press" Griffin if that means anything to you.

That's kind of exciting, though Adrienne Clarkson is one of the other speakers, and she would have been interesting to hear. Gwynne Dyer (whom I have already heard speak), Pamela Wallin, and Michael Ignatieff are also speaking at various other graduations.

Grade seven starts tomorrow. Wish me luck.

God knows I'll need it.

I like to go out dancin'

Reading week is slowly puttering along at a pace that's pretty easy to describe as 'much too fast' for my tastes. I have yet to accomplish much, I'm afraid, although I am getting closer to success on the laundry front.

I got to take my first trip to downtown Toronto in probably 8 or 9 months. Mom and I got tickets to see Julie Andrew's The Boyfriend at the Royal Alex. Nothing spectacular, but definitely lots of fun, great costuming, and a plot that was straight from a Shakespearean comedy, right down to the Carnival and the marriage.

Our afternoon downtown was lots of fun too--we hit up a Winners, where I got the most beautiful black pearl necklacke, with the help of some gift certificates I've been saving up, and the Queen St. LUSH. We then checked out the Winterlicious menu at Urban and browsed the Richmond and John Chapters. This was my first trip downtown since Jane Creba was shot in December, and I was surprised at how little the downtown was changed. Except for the security guards in the Chapters, you'd almost never know.

If I should win the lottery someday, I will definitely be spending a portion of my winnings at LUSH, though.

time I had some time alone

It is, marvelously, that week in which I am supposed to do nothing but read. There isn't actually very much to read in the BEd, so I will have to content myself with wreaking havoc, reading my mum out of house and home, and maybe eventually getting around to doing some homework. And possibly some prep for grade seven, which starts next week. Since I came back on Friday, I have read three books...I'd almost forgotten how glorious reading is, since I think I read all of three books in January.

The weather has been doing most of my havoc-wreaking for me these past few days. Poor North Bay Rock City got somewhere close to 90cm. in the last week, and down 'south' here it continues to snow off and on. We probably have between 50-60 cm. by now.

My dad has come up with a new mix tape/CD game. It would almost make a good meme, really. Basically, what you do is take about 20 CDs, randomly (dad currently grabs 1/2 of a shelf of CDs) and you have to choose your favourite song from each CD and put that onto your new CD. I will probably be doing that at some point this week, too. I bet it works better when you have nearly 2000 CDs, though, like he does, as opposed to the 250 I have.

Split Enz are reuniting!!

Bon Jovi gives love a good name!

Back in my erstwhile high school days, I had a friend by the name of Julia. Julia and I were both huge retro geeks even then (and friends in Finn) and used to have a lot of fun together loving the 80s life. When high school ended, she went off to Toronto and I to North Bay, but we have kept sporadically in touch over the years.

Julia is obsessed with Bon Jovi. Not just 'casual fan who owns greatest hits'; not 'devoted fan who owns the whole CD library and some imported vinyl'; but owns Bon Jovi bedsheets from Germany obsessed.

Which why is you should go here and read a story that, even if you hate Bon Jovi, should make you like him at least a little bit.

Congratulations Jewels and Matt!

this is not my beautiful house

This will be quick because this is one of the infamous 'no laptop' classes. Things are still tripping along on this end; this is my last week of class before February's round of placement. (And then there are only three more weeks of class.) February placement is in a grade seven classroom; I will be teaching Math, Computers, Gym, Sex Ed, Geography, and Language Arts. I am simultaneously terrified and thrilled about this.

Life is good right now. For once, I truly can't complain.

electioneering

I won't post much about the election here...snipes and gripes is the place for that...but I did want to post this: Voter Turn Out Up (via the CBC): Voter turn out is up 4% nationally, but up 13% in the 18-24 demographic. Granted, this still means that only 38% of all 18-24 year olds are voting, but I will take what I can get.

Especially when faced with the prospect of a Conservative minority.

what do you do with a drunken sailor (pretentious English major?)

I have a three hour gap between classes Monday afternoons, so I have taken to spending time in one of the newer student lounges on campus, which is fun because a) there are glass walls on two sides, b) lots of comfy couches, c) lots of places to plug in a laptop, d) great for people watching, and e) it's generally pretty quiet and devoid of undergrads. The last few times I've been in here, however, there have been two (who I suspect are English or History majors, as we can smell our own) who truly bring new meaning to pretentious. Sample quote, "but, my god, an AK47 is SUCH an outdated weapon. Like, as if people still use those." They've also been waxing poetic about the wonderous artistic integrity of Hunter S. Thompson, patron saint of posers everywhere.

Kris, we were never that bad, were we?

Not too much to report on this end. I've spent some time gallavanting around Northern Ontario, visiting boys and such. This past weekend was also the tremendously fun Winter Classic, a three day casual sports event at the university. The section put in a team; we played hard; we came in second out of thirty teams. None too shabby--and only a few injuries were sustained. I came out with some minor bumps and bruises on my knees (and a nice one of my wrist from getting hit on the wrist in broomball); mostly I'm just sore from a day of physical exertion followed by a night of drinking and dancing. Gotta get myself in shape for formal this weekend.

All the couches in here have me wanting to build a fort to hide out in.

I'm it!

Mz. T tagged me last week, and I promised I'd do it, filled it out offline and then promptly forgot about it until now. I do get around to things, I swear.

Four jobs you have had in your life:
1. Through the Looking Glass – small giftshop owned by one of my neighbours
2. Recruitment Assistant – basically, glorified tour guide for the University.
3. Historical Interpretor: This past summer was my sixth at this job. Easily the best job I’ve had; easily the job I’ve been the best at. Here I have really come into my own, and made some of the best friends I will ever have. This job has taught me the most about people.
4. Student Technology Assistant – my current job, helping people with their laptops and teaching workshops.

Four movies you would watch over and over:
1. Life is Beautiful
2. White Christmas
3. Apocalypse Now
4. Star Wars

Four places you have lived:
1. St. Zacharie, Provence, France – for three months on exchange when I was fifteen. I say lived because I went to school there.
2. St. Boniface, MB – the French quarter of Winnipeg, my favourite city in Canada.
3. Guelph, ON – city of poetry, great food, and my MA
4. North Bay ON – my erstwhile home for five of the last six years

Four TV shows you love to watch:
1. CSI
2. Darcy’s Wild Life
3. Radio Free Roscoe
4. okay…I have to confess that I really don’t watch a lot of TV

Four places you have been on vacation:
1. Scotland
2. Canada’s east coast (PEI, New Brunswick, Nova Scotia)
3. Carcassonne, Perpignan, France
4. Lake Lanier, Georgia

Four websites I visit daily:
1. Perez Hilton – my dark secret
2. TelevisionWithoutPity – where I steal all my jokes
3. Tomato Nation
4. CBC.ca

Four of my favourite foods:
1. Tacos
2. Cheese
3. Pizza
4. Pasta

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. In Westeros
2. In Scotland
3. At home in bed
4. In Sudbury in someone else’s bed

According to Career Cruising...

These are my top 40 career choices:
1. Anthropologist
2. Archivist
3. Criminologist
4. Activist
5. Political Aide
6. Writer
7. Communications Specialist
8. Market Research Analyst
9. Print Journalist
10. Critic
11. Public Policy Analyst
13. Translator
14. Lobbyist
15. Public Relations Specialist
16. Director of Photography
17. Paralegal
18. Legal Secretary
19. Desktop Publisher
20. Editor
21. Civil Litigator
22. Criminal Lawyer
23. Lawyer
24. Judge
25. Special Effects Technician
26. Animator
27. Cartoonist / Comic Illustrator
28. Actor
29. Costume Designer
30. Mediator
31. Set Designer
32. Sign Maker
33. Nurse
34. Autobody Repairer
35. Fashion Designer
36. Practical Nurse
37. Medical Secretary
38. Massage Therapist
39. Casting Director
40. Midwife

*insert round up music here*

It is time, folks, for the amazing and incredible year end round up!!1! And surely there is no better time to round stuff up than in class! On Monday morning! I'm tired of all these extreme exclamation points!

(Amendment: this list is inclsuive of all the things that I discovered this year, rather than things that were actually new.)

Movies:
I think I watched more movies this year than I ever have before. The highlight of my movie year was probably Cube, which is easily the best sci-fi offering I've seen in years. Shaun of the Dead and Land of the Dead were also good times. Attack of the Clones wasn't what I wanted it to be, but I'd be lying if I said that the scene in which all the Jedi are slaughtered didn't give me goosebumps every time.

Narnia and Potter get special nods, as does the BBC production of Narnia--though it is dreadful, it is still a piece of my childhood.

Big losers this year were Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, the Skeleton Key, and the Matrix movies. I didn't actually watch the Matrices, I just caught bits and pieces that reminded me of my hate.

Books: I read roughly 60 books last year. Actually, I'm pretty sure I read more than that, but I only wrote down 60 titles in my log, so that's the final number you're getting. (One of my resolutions is to keep a better log.) De Lindt, Gaiman, Martin, and various other bits of fantasy were my reading candy this year; Libba Bray's A Great and Terrible Beauty and Rebel Angels are the standout this year. Set in England at the turn of the century, the plot is well-paced and the details are marvelous.

Music: a solid year for Canadian music. My two big discoveries for the year are the Postal Service (though they are not Canadian) and Stars. I'm a sucker for a smooth lyric and a killer harmony, what can I say?

this land is whose land?

As those of you who live in Canada know, the city of Toronto has been plagued in the last year by an increasing amount of gang and gun violence, which culminated in what many are terming the truly horrific: the murder of a 15 year old girl on Boxing Day.

This event presents a particularly interesting juncture for my province and even my country. Jane Creba is not, as I mentioned above, the first person to die from apparent gang violence in Toronto. A two-year old was caught in the crossfire earlier this year; gunfire erupted inside a church at a funeral. Though these crimes were reported on (and have resulted in the election issue of gun control for Paul Martin's Liberals), nothing seems to have had the impact of young, pretty Jane Creba.

There is one reason for that: She is white. The other victims, and indeed, the criminals, are not.

The issues of race and class are often hidden issues in Canada. This country prides itself on this ridiculous notion of the 'cultural mosaic' in which everyone lives their own lives and own cultures in a way which creates beautiful harmony in the whole. This is one of the worst lies that we tell ourselves, because it allows us--the dominant white, British culture in which I include myself--to avoid seeing how race and class polarize our country. The very forces of prejudice that we continually congratulate ourselves for being above are so ingrained in our lives that we don't see them.

Much like what happened in Kashechewan earlier this year, race and class find themselves at the fore of my thoughts today. I am sorry for the Creba families loss. I am sorrier for the society that has brought the young men thought to be the shooters to this point. To say that it is society's fault is an over simplification--but can we deny what choices society gave these men? Can we deny our own role in this: at best, that we ignored what happened before; at worst, that all we did was talk, and not act for change?

For the first time in my life, I am saddened to be a Canadian. Because this is my fault.