Saturday, April 17, 2010

I dreamed I was dying, as I so often do...

I really hate the way that I'm most productive when I have a lot to do. If there's only a little bit on my plate, I will procrastinate and dilly dally and even lollygag, but the minute I have seventeen nigh impossible tasks, I will get that shit done. For example, today I have: done laundry, marked 1/3 of my exams, cleaned three rooms, watched Napoleon Dynamite*, mapped out part of my upcoming conference paper, read the graphic novel adaptation of "I Am Legend" and taken a nap.

Once these exams are graded and I start tabulating final marks, I will be more or less done for the year, which is terrifying and exhilerating. I have high hopes for this summer. I usually find my time off from work to be really stressful. I like having things to do; I like having a sense of purpose. I dislike not making money; I dislike being left to my own devices all the time. It's ironic, I suppose, that the time of the year that most people look forward to the most is the one that sends me into a depressive state.

Thus, this summer, I have decided that I will have ambition, purpose, and clearly stated goals, so that I do not lose track of myself. The preliminary goal list looks something like this:

  1. Knit my mom's Christmas present (Rogue sweater)
  2. Knit Mat a pair of kilt hose
  3. Design, make, and mail wedding invitations
  4. Write script for graphic novel idea found in old notebook
  5. Write script for own Cinema of the Awkward film
  6. Prime and paint living room, spare room, craft room, and upstairs hallway
  7. Grow tomatoes and/or herbs in backyard
  8. Miscellaneous wedding planning activities
  9. Sew new curtains for bathroom

I hope this is enough to keep me out of trouble. I spent most of last summer napping extensively on the couch because I felt so poorly, and I don't think that I can handle going down that road again.

*I still don't really get it

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