...lying in the depths of your imagination...

First things first, of course.  The Finn(s) were bloody incredible; this was the third time I've seen them in the last year and a half or so, and easily one of the best performances (and venues).  It makes me sad when they talk about playing the Masonic Temple in 1980 as Split Enz, though, I wasn't even born then.  The merch table actually yielded an autographed copy of One Nil for me and an autographed copy of Tim's CD for dad.  They covered a lot of both the Enz and Crowded House stuff, which was just...wonderful.  Especially "Weather With You."  The fact that a ringtone exists of that song makes me want to own a cellphone...in fact, I would probably call myself just to hear it.

My two days in North Bay were also quite nice; I went to a shower for the soon-to-be-weds, got my hair fixed (a cut and two colours of foil highlights--it looks quite fetching now), bought a ridiculous amount of books from the secondhand bookstore,  and spent some quality time with people that I will soon be missing very much.

I have an apartment in Guelph; this is one less pressure gone.

updates are for suckas

Updates aren't really for suckas; I actually wrote a lengthy one earlier this week and then my computer spazzed out and ate it.  Perhaps it is hungry and I ought to feed it; or at the very least, make myself lunch for work today, since I'm leaving in 15 or so minutes.

It has been a very draining couple of weeks. We are on a different schedule now at THSWSNBN that actually involves working less...but I actually feel like I'm working more.  I think I just need to start spending my days off doing nothing except sleeping and suntanning, and then I'll feel more like I'm actually getting time off.  I filmed an episode of a French kids' tv show...which will eventually air...I'm interested to see how it turns out.

Of course, having complained about the time off thing, I am headed to the t-dot tonight to see Les Frères Finn at Massey Hall, and then booting it back to North Bay for the next few days before returning to work as Simon Desfosses on Thursday.  Damn, it feels good to be a soldier...

In last night's DnD session, I successfully killed a black dragon. It was awesome.

I'm just thinking...

It is my professional opinion that there ought to be at least another six hours in the day, 'cause I have *no* idea how to get anything done.  The summer is slipping away from me ridiculously fast (the finn! next week!) and I still have nowhere to live.
 
I did finally pick my courses, though.  More on that later.

my aching heart would bleed for you to see...

I've been rather enjoying the music of Annie Lennox lately. She has such a lovely voice; I've often thought that if I could choose how my voice would sound when I sang, I would choose her voice. Or, occasionally, Chrissie Hynde.

It's been a busy couple of weeks. THSWSNBN has switched from my old, reliable schedule of Tuesday-Saturday to some kind of 4 days on, 2 days off deal and it's taking some adjustment, although I am enjoying it on the whole, especially since I have been able to visit Wonderland and spend time with friends that I would not have been able to otherwise, like the Mathman.

The parents had a good trip out east; the sister had a good time being here without them. Or at least this sister did. I should probably announce, as well, that the boy and I are no more; I have lost a boyfriend and (hopefully) gained a friend. Any questions will be answered in due time.

More real-life people keep jumping on the bloggy bandwagon, which I quite like. A special welcome to the Pretender. She's a good egg.

Pay day tomorrow, and I have my GST cheque as well. So hopefully tomorrow will yield a haircut, some new DVDs, and possibly a henna kit of some kind. I got two paw prints put on my tummy while at Wonderland, and I'm quite entranced by them. Not quite entranced enough to take the capital-T tattoo plunge, but still highly amused. Friday will involve book shopping, coffee, and a movie...and perhaps I will finally pick up Air's score to the Virgin Suicides...or possibly even the Virgin Suicides in paperback. Although, that may not be the best idea...since every time I read that book (and I do adore it) I wind up depressed for several weeks.

New books are terribly exciting to me...I wish I knew what classes I was taking/TA-ing, so I could start reading up...

brand new day

not many updates recently, I guess. It's been a pretty busy couple of weeks. I started another role playing campaign (this one an actual Dungeons and Dragons campaign--as opposed to the other one, whih is based on D20 but is actually the brainchild of a brilliantly creative friend). Once again I wound up as a cleric (not that I mind) AND I'm half-elf half-dragon. It's awesome.

I need to find some time to sit down and write seriously, and soon, I think. I sense that something big is coming, btu I'm not sure what it is.

running through my head

What a crazy busy week. Not really that much has happened, I guess, except a visit from that Steve guy I used to live with (and, truth be told, miss enormously). I also saw Spiderman 2--which is terrible--not even good cheese like the first film.

I have been doing some bashing with people as work as well, which is essentially doing battle with a variety of weapons created from pool noodles and PVC piping. Such good times. I am lucky to have the friends that I do.

I also made a ring of Power. Because yes, I am that nerdy. 

All in a day's work at THSWSNBN 

you'll be the last one standing

Apparently I have written 17 493 words in this puppy over the last little while. Very unprolific output, considering I've had the bloody thing for two years, but still I am reasonably proud of this, and of the fact that I've made my blogging a little more consistent this summer. So you can bet that next year when I have no friends left, am sleeping five hours a night, and have an ulcer AND pneumonia...I will still be blogging to procrastinate.

I keep forgetting to mention that I did in fact get tickets to the Finn Brothers show in Toronto. It's at Massey Hall (which means I will have seen the Finn in my two favourite concert venues ever) and we have balcony seats, which will be quite fun. My dad is to be one of my concert companions and he is decidedly afraid of heights. I just hope the seats will be better than when we saw Sloan there in '99...as my dad is fond of saying, "there's not a bad seat in Massey Hall...except for our Sloan seats, eh?"

Dust From A Distant Sun has long been one of my favourite reads, and perhaps a tiny bit because it is named after one of my favourite songs. I wanted to give this blog a Finn title as well, but there was just something about the Academia Nuts that greatly amused me, and I couldn't think of a good title, since Something So Finn was already gone...

I remember when Crowded House released Recurring Dream, back in in 1997. It was a few weeks before I would leave for the three months I spent in France, and I remember seeing/hearing "Don't Dream It's Over" on Much Music (which actually played music like this at that time). It was like finding a sweater that you loved and thought you'd lost for good. Dad put Recurring Dream on tape for me and it was one of only three tapes I took with me to Ste. Zacharie. The songs have come to mean much more to me over the years but I still associate them with being away from home, and in that sense, I suppose, they are like friends to me.

the future's so bright...I want to run and hide

Just came back from a semi-successful trip to Guelph. I checked out a few (fairly reasonable) apartments, one of which I would like to take...if I can decide that I want the boy to move down with me, that is.

All of a sudden, I am absolutely terrified. I talked to one of this year's MA students and she really put the fear of god, He Who Shall Not Be Named, gnomes, and all else that is unholy into me about what a rough year it is going to be; citing the usual cohort of ulcers, pneumonias, and other occupational hazards of the MA in English.

The campus itself is gorgeous and the city seems quite nice...if only I could beyond this completely (well, almost completely) irrational fear of everything. I'm sitting here right now with my heart beating quite quickly and I honestly feel like I'm on the verge of a panic attack. this does not bode well for my future.

*sigh*

rocking out is for chumps

Still making with the sick on this end, which is partially why there has been little updating on this end--aside from the part where this week has just been crazy busy with the commencement of Not-dungeons and Not-dragons and trying to spend time all of the various friends.

The role playing is really far more fun than it has any right to be, and I am thrilled with the way my (vaguely Klingon-esque) character is developing.

We also watched Bubba Ho-tep and Grave of the Fireflies. The first is good; the second is better...it manages to be haunting, disturbing, and endearing all at the same time.

In a very short time, I will own this shirt.

did they have airplanes back then?

Another busy day at THSWSNBN. I have seven tours in four days this week, and on the fifth day, I blacksmith. And then we start the new rotation, and that will be really weird. Today was a very random tour day. My morning tour started with my group's teacher announcing to me that I had "the shaft class"...first of all, inappropriate much? (this was said in front of a class of 12 year olds) ...and second of all, WAAAAH! Ironically, they were actually a good group. The afternoon tour was also good, although the kids seemed to get stupider towards the end, which resulted in the question, "Did they have airplanes back then?"

French seniors tomorrow. Wish me luck.

And...I may finally get to see that pesky potter film, at long last.

lying in bed, just like Brian Wilson did

It's funny how sometimes it seems to be easier to talk around things than to actually talk about them. Blogging is a really good example of that. Sometimes I think about things that I would like to blog (during the day) and then when I come home and actually sit down here at the computer, nothing comes to mind and I end up writing about obscure or very general things that aren't too relevant to what's actually happening in my world. I'm not sure whether that's self-preservation or something else.

The weekend was lovely. I am sunburnt now, but that happens when one spends most of two days outside...there is actual COLOUR on some of my skin. it's fabulous. There was poetry, there were good friends, hot tubs, large goldfish, conversations about absurdist theatre, thunderstorms...all this equates to a general feeling of contendedness with the world right now.

Tara wrote about creative drought yesterday, which begs me to consider why I haven't *really* written in a pretty considerable amount of time. I think that at a certain point, it simply becomes easier to not write. I read a book once called "The War of Art" which was essentially about not procrastinating and actually sitting down and writing (by the guy who wrote the Legend of Bagger Vance, weirdly enough)...of course, it didn't actually motivate me to write anymore, but I am hoping that will change soon and that I will have a chance to actually get some of what I'm feeling down on paper.

I actually blogged about the graduation ceremony last night but then my computer froze. Figures. The ceremony itself was fantastic...very short (1.5 hours, a Nipissing record) and I got to see most of the people from my program, and spend the night with Kristabelle, which is always a highlight.

I didn't think graduation would be that big of a deal...even in high school, I knew that I would be doing at least two degrees, so I'd always kind of figured that this one would be more just a stepping stone on my way to the big Bachelor of Education. In reality, it was a beautiful, exciting, wonderful day. I actually feel like I've accomplished something. I think it has a larger impact because I won't be at Nipissing next year.

Me and Dr. Hayley Wickenheiser 

the joke is always on me

so I was all excited, as you can see in the post below, about not being sick anymore...so when I get to work on Tuesday morning, what do I do? Take a cab to the boyfriend's house, 'cause once again I am the president of Sickville.

The last two days have been mercifully healthy and *knock wood* tomorrow will hopefully be as well, as I suspect THSWSNBN might implode if anyone calls in sick tomorrow, as we are severely overbooked.

Gradumauation is this weekend, so I am headed back to the Bay after work tomorrow, to seek the comfort of roommates and to test drive the wedding shoes...by walking across the stage to get my diploma. Hey, I didn't trip in high school, with any luck that will still hold true.

I am all road-trip mix-CD-ed up now, so I am off to bed. g'night!

happy one hundred and one

this is my official post #101. How exciting is that?

Not too much new in the world of the skylark, aside from the fact that I feel human for the first time in almost a week. People keep complimenting me on how I look, which is nice, but I feel I should always be adding "yes, this is what happens when you eat virtually nothing for a week" to my "thank you." No matter, I suppose, I have plenty of time to play calorie catch-up.

I got my shoes for the wedding today. These ones, to be exact, only in black and not white. They are very cute, and not too tall--not that it matters, since I am taller than my escort (whoever he may be) in bare feet.

The Cranium party this weekend did not go as well as planned; although it was still a lot of fun. I hadn't realized when I picked the date that it would be Game 6 of the Stanley Cup. This was the first party I've been to in ages where there were more boys than girls, a vast majority of the people there were more interested in the hockey. Personally, I was more interested in the hot tub, but that's just me. I think I will have a Cranium evening later in the summer that will be a little more low-key...

Back to work tomorrow, with a French tour of grade 11 and 12 students. Worse luck...

on the election trail...

Stephen Harper, leader of the new Conservative Party of Canada, may or may not have blown his chances for election this week...Abortion is always a sticky subject, regardless of where you live, and it seems the Canadian Press want to make it an important issue in this election. The Globe and Mail offers an interesting take on it, as does this story from the CBC.

Harper has said that his government would not table abortion legislation; he has also said that his government would not table abortion legislation in its first term, which is a pretty important distinction to make. Now he has said that he would not object to a private member's bill to criminalize abortion, and would not force MPs to vote along party lines.

I was going to write something a little more rant-y about this, but I've lost my enthusiasm for doing so, and in closing, I will simply note that Paul Martin wants to offer $7/day daycare.

you can buy my vote

I got my voter registration card from Elections Canada today. The election is coming up on June 28th, and I am grateful that this time there will be no repeats of the "from my cold, dead hands" debacle of the last provincial election. It's interesting because I'm now in a different electoral district than I originally assumed I was; which is a different one from virtually everyone I work with.

We only have three confirmed candidates in this riding so far...none of which I want to vote for. The Christian Heritage Party just rubs me the wrong way...when you click on Party Platform, you somehow end up at a page that gives you seven reasons why you should vote for the CHP...which, last I checked, was NOT a platform.

Yes, I do have too much time on my hands.

please, please explain to me

Spending quality time with the computer is always a good thing. I'm hoping that soon I will be able to purchase another ethernet cord so that I am not always at the mercy of other people with whom I share the internet connection. We all know how much I like my internet.

The Squidge started a new blog she wants to call "The Life of Chai" which is a wonderific title.

My blogging has been really flat as of late, and I apologize for that. Work is keeping me quite busy (in a variety of different ways--mostly social) and I am thankful that I will be getting a full paycheque tomorrow.

The girls are taking me shopping on Sunday.

what a wonderful world?

What a busy but mostly wonderful week. Work is absolutely frantic right now; I don't think we've been this busy since the first year I did spring/summer...Some days we have three pages of tours, which is absolutely terrifying.

Kristabelle and I had a fabulous weekend, we visited the Build A Bear and THSWSNBN and its Sister Site. So good to see her, but so sad to see her go. It will be very difficult to live without her next year.

I am participating in a D20 based RPG campaign entitled "The Grimoire" which thus far is shaping up to be quite a lot of fun.

The election campaign is afoot in Canada, which has brought my beloved Trevor home for a brief time period; creating much chaos. (The election, not Trevor.)

strange magic

Strange (but wondrous) things are afoot at THWSNBN. I porbably shouldn't comment too much here, but my summer has taken a turn for the better.

I have decided to destroy my body by my 23rd birthday

Not much new to report here, except that I have caught Lizzy's throat infection, because she is a giant nerf herder.

My hands are healing nicely, and now I have made it through two whole days without having to file an accident report at work. Work will be crazy busy this week, and thankfully being on tour should minimize my injury risk levels. I've got a tour almost every day, which is definitely random...thankfully none of them are in French, as mon francais is pretty rusty right now.

My weekend was pretty uneventful. I went to a party on Saturday night, and ended up leaving early, since both the boy and I were really tired...we were both in bed and asleep by eleven, I think. The rain here has been pretty crazy, but thankfully we have not been beset by tornados as of yet.

The little one painted with me today, her only condition being that we listen to her music. Unfortunately I am not so cool with JT when not intoxicated/in a club...but it is nice to spend time with her.

Kyle, that's telekinesis

I am no longer allowed to handle sharp objects at work. While carpenting yesterday, I slipped with a chisel and drove the chisel into my right thumbnail, and now there's a 3mm crack right in the center. It was very hurty. Today, while carving a piece of wood, my knife slipped off the wood and sliced into my left index finger across the first knuckle. It didn't hurt too much but it sure was bloody.

Things here are mostly good, though busy--I feel like I hardly have time to catch my breath in between one day and the next. I got a phone bill from North Bay today, and Bell is trying to charge me for May's service...even though I disconnected my phone on April 30th. And apparently their 24 hours customer service is a big fat lie, so I will have to phone tomorrow and get this straightened out, because I am not paying for services I'm not using.

It was our first payday today, and I am excited to be not broke. A bunch of us from work went out for supper and it ended up being a lot of fun. It's a really good group of people to work with, and I think I treasure that aspect of my job more than anything else. Where else could I have conversations about comic books (and the social relevance thereof), the supreme awesomeness of the White Stripes, some of the finickier points of historical interpretation, the history of the Bible's translation and interpretation, and the Masonic Bible?

Aside from my general incompetence with all tools, it was a good day.

And I get my Kristabelle back next week.

I don't know why I didn't call

Today was a pretty good day. I got to see my family in the t-dot, which is good--some of them I haven't seen since Christmas 2002, and it was nice to spend some time with them. I also found my missing Norah Jones CD, in my dad's car. This seemed like a good thing until my mom realized I'd found it, because then we got to listen to it six times.

We went to the Build-a-Bear in Missassauga, which was way too much fun. We met my youngest cousin and my aunt there and he got a big black bear, because it reminded him of the movie Brother Bear.

I bought a bear, too--this one, to be exact. And then I dressed him like this. Oh yeah, he's totally a present for the boy.

quiz master

Via Greengrl and Esther:

I'm the limerick, mired in muck. I refuse to be bored or get stuck.    I like to offend,    But not, in the end, As much as to thwart expectations. What Poetry Form Are You?

All too true, I'm afraid.

Saw Troy tonight. Terrible but fun at the same time. Saw preview for King Arthur movie, looks to be more of same--except that the delicious Ioan Gruffudd is Lancelot, which is a choice I cannot argue with. If you've never seen him as Horatio Hornblower, it comes highly recommended.

so many times I thought I'd call...

I'm getting run down by work already, which is a bad sign, since this is only my third week there. I probably shouldn't have come back this summer; I feel so completely incompetent all the time. I'm hoping that it's just an off couple of days and that I'll be feeling better soon. Work has been fairly steady these last few days, which is a definite improvement over opening day, and I have my first tour group tomorrow.

The interesting/crazy visitor brigade has started up again. Today's most interesting was from Holland, and had a good grasp of the English language. He compared the interactions of French and First Nations people (with specific regard to converting to Christianity) at our site to the current doings of Muslims in Europe. (Apparently they are trying to convert people to Islam.) He wanted to talk about how today we would consider this to be wrong, but it wasn't wrong in the seventeenth century, and how unfair it was. It also transformed into a conversation about the French ban on the hijab and other visible signs of religious belief. Interesting, but very random...especially since he was clearly looking for an argument, and I actually agreed with him, so there was no real discussion forthcoming.

I had more to write, but I should probably save it.

I guess that's why they call it the blues

this is a test post

mittens? who eats their mittens?

I am currently connected to the internet via my spiffy spiffy router. I'm not entirely sure why, since I haven't properly installed the darned thing yeet, but if it's working, it's working, and I'm just not going to question that.

Hurray for time off. I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do today, but I suspect I will not get done all that I wish to. Things I would like to do: laundry, cleaning/organizing my room, knitting, scrapbooking my trip to Scotland, getting mail ready to send out tomorrow, some writing, painting, and so on.

Yesterday was our first day open at work, and it was busier than I thought it would be, although still painfully slow at times. Considering that a good chunk of our literature says that we don't open until May 2-4, and that it was a cold, damp day, we did pretty well. I got to do the admissions thing, and somehow managed to snag to the only two French groups of the day in the course of doing so.

chill factor

Today was long. We did a Survivor-style activity challenge this morning for team building purposes, and my team did not win (though we should have, but that's another story). I got to learn the admissions program so that I can cover the desk during lunches and breaks. There was a small thunderstorm, and the power went out a couple of times. Sadly, that was one of the more exciting parts of the day.

Last night was fun, though. One of the crew from work is writing an RPG, and I've agreed to participate in it, which is horribly geeky but also shaping up to be a lot of fun, or at the very least a chance to get to know new people. A couple of us went for coffee and shenanigans, and really it was just good to be with people who aren't so familiar with me that they can finish my sentences most of the time.**

I am working on an ambitious knitting project that thus far is going quite well. It almost made watching the Friends finale bearable. But not quite, 'cause, well, it was pretty brutal.

I say the word "wicked" way too much; I think it was originally popular when I wasin grade six or something, which makes me officially lame.

**I am actually really bad for doing this--even with people I don't know. It's part of my social ineptitude.

All this training means that I'm secretly a seal

More staff training at THSWSNBN today. I wish I could say it had been enjoyable. Actually, it wasn't that bad...I guess. French training is always a bit draining, and then part of the afternoon involved going on another tour of the historic site. I know that I shouldn't complain, but I've worked there for four years; I've got a decent handle on what's going on, despite my score on the information test.

I am getting to know new people, which is one of the better parts of the job. We did a neat exercise today about working with visually impaired people, which involved being blindfolded and led around the historic site. It was a very disorienting (but fun) experience.

One of my friends is thinking about running an RPG if he can get enough interested bodies, and I'm considering doing it...it could be fun.

raining letters from heaven

In the past week, I've had a phone call from the president of the university and now a letter from the Dean of Arts and Science to congratulate me on the SSHRC. It's sort of an interesting phenomenom, but their sentiments are certainly appreciated. Even if the Dean thinks that he will look forward to my "achievements in the scientific research community."** I think someone used the same letter for the SSHRC as he did for the NSERC awards.

Not that I mind, as I certainly wasn't anticipating anything like this from him, but it is kind of funny.

**This is funny because I am a Humanities major and my MA will be fairly UNscientific.

clouds of loneliness

The CBC Radio One is playing some of Gordon Lightfoot's new music (apparently he has a new CD coming out next week) and they had Ron Sexsmith introduce the song. I saw his new CD (Ron's that is) yesterday and nearly bought it; I really need to watch my expenditures this summer.

I redid the colours of my sister's blog yesterday and I think it looks pretty spiffy. I will be giving this place an overhaul eventually, with some (read: lots) of help from a friend as soon as I can figure out what I want the design to look like. I have a few ideas in mind but they are taking form very slowly.

Back to work tomorrow, starting my regular tuesday-saturday work week. In spite of myself, I am actually very glad to be back.

and so, that chapter of my life ends.

Chapter the Next. In which the protagonist spends the summer working at THSWSNBN, takes tours, makes friends, and speaks a lot of French. The protagonist also endeavours not to spend money, not to tick off the management at work, and be a valuable employee.

I have moved all of my things from North Bay, finally, and now my parents' house is being overrun by my junk. I'll have to start looking for a place in Guelph soon, I guess. My dad has agreed that if I buy a router, I can hook my computer up to the internet, and this means more regular internet access for me. Considering that I'm still research assisting it up, this will be a very valuable thing.

I get to go to the art store day and I'm really excited about it.

working girl

Man, every year I forget how much the start up period at work takes out of me. The first two weeks are just brutal...and today every thing hurts. I moved wood for a pretty good chunk of the day (which is a good arm toner, I guess) and I can really feel how out of shape I am. Definitely need to put in some Pilates time tonight, I think.

I got my acceptance package from Guelph, finally, and they've decided to stump up some financial assistance for me. So, if I go there I will have a two-term TA or RA position, and possibly some other internal awards. It's funny that as soon as I have a source of income (the SSHRC) that suddenly the university has to offer me more income to go there...I understand that a lot of it has to do with funding and prestige and such, but I still thinks it's crazy. I am really excited about the job, though, and I really hope that it will be a teaching assistantship, because I think that would be a pretty incredible experience. (To say nothing of the fact that if I do my PhD, it will go a long way towards helping me to get into that.)

I'm back up to North Bay tomorrow to move out. Wish me luck!

back to work

Start Day #5 at THSWSNBN. I didn't sleep much last night because I was so worried about it, which was, in retrospect, pretty silly. The whole day was kind of silly--a lot of sitting and listening to people talk. For the most part the people doing the talking were actually pretty interesting, but after nearly 6 hours my bum and my back were not so thankful to be sitting there. The training is a very different format this year than it has been in years past, which I am thankful for. Unfortunately, I have to miss the FAM tour day on Friday, when we visit some of the other area attractions--which, in my own geeky/nerdy way, I'm actually disappointed in.

Also, I was somehow turned in to a pack mule for both sisters and got to carry around my own training manuals AND theirs for the day. How did that happen?

If I tell myself that it will be a good summer often enough, do you think it will come true?

why, I never cry in movies

I watched Mr. Holland's Opus. I really like that movie, in a terrible, cheesy kind of way.

I'm a bit nervous about working at THSWSNBN again. It will be my fifth year there, and that is somewhat intimidating to me--I will be the oldest face there among the interpretive staff. Both of my sisters are working with me this summer--it'll be interesting to see how that goes. I think it will be good for Cait to start work, the poor kid needs some distraction from everything that's been going on in her world lately.

I thought this would be a more exciting post, but it's not. and my comments seem to be broken on this computer.

baby, it's cold outside

In some of the best. news. ever. I am bound to report that I received emails today telling me that my application for the SSHRC (Social Sciences and Humanities REsearch Council) has been accepted, which means that grad school will now be a reality as opposed to a pipe dream of some kind--they're giving me $17 500 for school next year.

I was really afraid that I wouldn't get it, and I am grateful to everyone who had faith in me.

In other news, I am home now, and starting work back at the Historic Site Which Shall NOt Be Named tomorrow. Woot for that. Figures, too, that just as I find out that I will be okay financially next year, the parent company posts an opening for a position that I would have applied for had I not got into g-school.

It is good to be home, and also to be not puking anymore...it was a rough weekend.

I said I didn't give a fuck about hockey...and yes, I meant it

While I'm as happy as anyone about the Leafs winning (okay, that's a total lie), I really don't feel like my neighbours need to be using their drum kit to bash out a rhythm to yell "go leafs go" by. Of course, I'm bothered by the fact that it's Maple Leafs, but that's because I'm an insecure grammar nerd who is overcompensating.

If you're at all interested in things science-y and fun, you should check out The Gravity Probe B site, which is looking at the probe sent up by NASA, Stanford, and York University that is testing Einstein's theory of relativity. The data won't be ready for release for probably another two years, but this is pretty exciting, since the theory of relativity is a prretty important principle which so much work has been based on...and if it's wrong, well, there's a whole world of possibilities there.

this is weird...

Has anyone else had experience with (or know anything about) a website called Share Your Experiences.com? I've received emails from the website a few times, claiming that people are searching for information about the owner of one of my email addresses (one of my personally identifiable ones, that is not a yahoo or hotmail account). They won't give me information about who is searching for my information, or let me contact the people who are doing so unless I stump up for a paid membership...it sounds like a big scam to me, but something about it has got me really creeped out.

That is in no way related to the copious amounts of CSI Season Two polished off in the last week or so...not at all.

all right, who didn't shower yesterday?

That would be me. One of my neighbours has apparently burst a pipe, so they've shut off all the water to this complex of townhouses--figures that I didn't shower yesterday, and that I have my big English soirée to go to tonight. Thank god for roommates who are willing to let me shower at their new house.

First exam tomorrow...Texts and Intertexts...I only *just* read The Homeric Hymn to Demeter this week, so I might be screwed...or maybe not. Not sure. I keep telling myself it's my second last exam ever, and I must say that that is a pretty neat thing.

I start back at smath in ten days and that freaks me out.

gah

So now I've heard from Guelph...I'm in their "second tier" of applicants...not the ones they absolutely wanted for sure, but not bad enough to be rejected outright, either. Which means I get to wait until they have all of their rejections, and hope that then they can offer me a place after that.

This is what I get for trying to think outside of my box, I guess.

save me from the wookiee

I'm going crazy--I *still* haven't heard back from Guelph, and my last two emails to various people in their English department have gone unanswered...which means that, if I don't hear anything tomorrow, I will have to call them, which I don't particularly relish the thought of doing.

Star Wars now has their own online store. The good news? I'll never be stuck for a present for the Boy again. The bad? The prices are, of course, all in American dollars. That said, I think the Boy would just die if I gave him this for our two year anniversary.

He digs the Clone Troopers, that one.

she comes into focus, focus

Clean laundry is the shit. When my roommates moved out and into their own house, they took our washer and dryer, on the proviso that they provide laundry service for the rest of us until the end of the month. I did two loads today, which (ideally) should last me for the next ten days, until I moved home for the summer.

The university is screwing me around and I am really confused by it. I'm in a supplementary program called Orientation to Teaching, which is supposed to guarantee me a spot in teacher's college provided that I take three classes relating to education (a psych, a sociology, and a practicum) and maintain a 70 average on my undergrad. All in all, a pretty sweet deal. Last week I got a letter telling me that I wouldn't be finding out about my acceptance until my final grades were in and they've reviewed my OTT requirements. Which is irritating, but fine--except that some of my classmates, who are in similar programs and academic standing, have received their acceptance packages already. WTF?

A friend ran into a guy at the school who told her that the school is bell curving the OTT applicants to weed some of them out, because they have more OTT applicants than spaces available, so some people won't be getting in. I doubt that this would apply to me, as my current standing is just above an 80 (A-) but it has got me worried. Needless to say, if this is true, and I don't get in, it will not be pretty...the University would be in a very very bad place, public relations-wise.

yummy

I made chocolate chip cookies today and they are excellent. Project Bread didn't happen because my yeast died (sniff) but I may rectify that in the future. Who knows?

I watched the MTV Becoming today (because I was bored and lonely) on Britney Spears's I'm A Slave 4 U, and it was really bad, except that the guy in the Becoming video who licked Not-Britney's face was wearing an April Wine t-shirt. Yes, April Wine, as in semi-obscure 70s Canadian rock band. who are actually quite a good band, just not the sort fhtat one would expect people in Non-Britney Spears videos to be wearing.

I had my Pilates class tonight and it felt so good. I skipped one of the classes last week because of my Feminist Theory paper and my body was really not happy about it. It's funny how much I've really come to enjoy the exercise, and I will really miss it when I return to Elmvale, although I will hopefully be joining a gym there when I get back, and doing some biking besides. I want to be a lot more active this year.

if I only had a...

if my knitting skills were better, I would make this in a heartbeat...as it is, I'm having a hard time not asking my mum if she'd make it for me.

I plan to knit more this summer. I bought Cait a knitting book for Christmas that has a pattern for a very nice bag (kind of a purse more than a bag, I guess) and I think I am going to work on that. It will be my first time working with real wool (aside knitting various bits of others' projects at THSTSNBN) and I have high hopes for it. It's a very simple piece, but if it comes out, it will look quite nice.

At the rate I'm going, I should be able to make the piece that's linked above by the time I'm 90. I just that when I'm 90, I'll actually have time to make it.

london calling

About a month ago, I sent home all my of CDs and DVDs and non-school related books in preparation for the end of April move out. The CDs that stayed are a good bunch, obviously, but it's been a month...so imagine my delight when I found The Clash's London Calling, The White Stripes's De Stijl, and Rufus Wainwright's s/t under my bed. It was definitely a good thing.

In other good, CD-related news, I finally found my copy of Sloan's OCTA/Party Album, which the boy swore he didn't have, hiding under the owner's manual in his glove department. This is a very good thing, as I have missed that album muchly, and it has prevented me from creating the "Sloan's Greatest Hits" compilation, which I actually have a surprising number of people waiting for.

And, if you live in Canada and you haven't done so already, go check out PureTracks.com. It is also a good thing.

you call this justice?

the mathman moved out for real today. It was a very sad day. The house is a disaster and I'm becoming increasingly frustrated with it, since (as predicted) it's becoming more and more apparent that the bulk of the work is going to be done by me.

I celebrated easter today with my sister. We had ham and asparagus and garlic bread and apple pie. It was awesome. We also watched ten episodes of CSI, and I feel like I'm going to explode. I bought some baking supplies at Some Frills today so I might make some chocolate chip cookies tomorrow...it's been literally YEARS since I've had real homemade cookies, as opposed to those Pillsbury ones in the roll. (Although, I must admit that I've eaten more than my fair share of chocolate chip cookie dough from those rolls...)

I watched a episode of a TV show called Exhibit A last night and one of my co-workers from The Historic Site That Shall Not Be Named was in it.

Maybe I'll make bread tomorrow, I found three packages of dry yeast in my cupboard when I was poking through there. If not bread, maybe some soft pretzels...or foccacia. Which, I guess, is technically bread, but whatever.

Watching CSI makes me paranoid.

I can see you with my eyes closed

it's been almost twelve hours since my last post. Not much is new. I cleaned the bathroom today until I got high on cleaner fumes (and by high, I mean dizzy). I cleaned the newly defrosted freezer. I forgot to take the garbage out, though. crap. I'll do that tomorrow morning.

I watched Apocalypse Now tonight. Damn, I love that movie.

Kurtz has been on my mind lately. I was reading today about how Marlon Brando hated the script for Kurtz at the end of the movie and ended up demanding that he be shot in the shadows and also that he adlibbed most of his lines. I just find that incredible, because I honestly can't imagine Kurtz being done any other way than what he is in Apocalypse Now. And he makes Eliot references!

The same edition of James Frazer's The Golden Bough is in one of the seminar rooms at school, and I often consider stealing it.

adv. adlt. are you a playa?

I get ridiculous amounts of spam email at one of my email addresses (actually, come to think of it, I get ridiculous amounts at the other, too, but do you think I could be bothered to change them?) and it's usually either about our old friend porn/increasing the size of my member/increasing the size of my bustline, or about bad credit. One I got today asked "are you a playa?"

And sadly, I must report, that I am not a playa. or even a player. It's bad when even your junk mail starts ragging on you.

it's sad when the most exciting thing to happen to me in a long time is that my sister has a blog now:
LIzzy's Lair. You can read it if you want.

snowballs in the house?

my mom just threw a snowball at me. it exploded all over my pants and the floor yet narrowly missed the computer.

it is black history month

and I honestly intended to post this before now, since there are only scant days left to February, and certainly, right now that is both a blessing and a curse...but I did want to post a poem I found a long time ago in my beloved Norton Anthology of Poetry, 4th edition, that caught my mind back in first year. You can find the poem and more information on its author, Langston Hughes here.

Theme for English B

The instructor said,

Go home and write
a page tonight.
And let that page come out of you--
Then, it will be true.

I wonder if it's that simple?
I am twenty-two, colored, born in Winston-Salem.
I went to school there, then Durham, then here
to this college on the hill above Harlem.
I am the only colored student in my class.
The steps from the hill lead down into Harlem,
through a park, then I cross St. Nicholas,
Eighth Avenue, Seventh, and I come to the Y,
the Harlem Branch Y, where I take the elevator
up to my room, sit down, and write this page:

It's not easy to know what is true for you or me
at twenty-two, my age. But I guess I'm what
I feel and see and hear, Harlem, I hear you:
hear you, hear me--we two--you, me, talk on this page.
(I hear New York, too.) Me--who?
Well, I like to eat, sleep, drink, and be in love.
I like to work, read, learn, and understand life.
I like a pipe for a Christmas present,
or records--Bessie, bop, or Bach.
I guess being colored doesn't make me not like
the same things other folks like who are other races.
So will my page be colored that I write?

Being me, it will not be white.
But it will be
a part of you, instructor.
You are white--
yet a part of me, as I am a part of you.
That's American.
Sometimes perhaps you don't want to be a part of me.
Nor do I often want to be a part of you.
But we are, that's true!
As I learn from you,
I guess you learn from me--
although you're older--and white--
and somewhat more free.

This is my page for English B.

You should also check out Derek Walcott, you're interested in a black writer who is not American. His poetry is incredible, and he has a piece called "The Muse of History" which is both excellent and essential for anyone interested in Carribean lit (though I can't seem to find it online).

it's a good thing I work well under pressure

yeah, yeah, I know...it has been a long time, kids. so let me recap the last few weeks for you:

+applications to grad school: mailed off
+seminar on "the education of the artist" and Stella Bowen's Drawn From Life: done
+short feminist theory paper on gaze, desire, and homosocial relationships (sadly titled "Girls Gone Mild" in fit of believing in one's own wit): done
+job interview in Toronto for job in Ottawa: done; ambiguous feelings on potential outcome
+reading week: too short; too little accomplished
+job interview for SMATH: done; little doubt that will be offered job
+paper on the relationship between gender and the art of Stella Bowen in conception, reception, and interpretation of Drawn From Life: done
+phone call from UOttawa telling me that have forgotten to give them my birthdate on application forms, thereby preventing me from being entered into the computer: now fixed
+phone call from Carleton telling me that they have not received letters of reference, which are needed ASAP to submit my application for financial aid, and which were posted on February 10th, tracked, and marked as received by Canada Post: in the process of being dealt with

So that leaves me with:

+fixing the reference letter problem
+making a doctor's appointment
+writing a 15 page history paper which have not started writing nor researching, nor indeed, even picked a specific topic
+calling landlord to fix things for next year
+preparation for two seminars being given next week
+preparation for test on Franz Fanon
+finding a topic for web based learning module on Shelly Jackson's Patchwork Girl
+shopping for bridesmaid dress
+trying to implode

Apologies for the blank entry and my general absence for the past week. The blank entry was caused by a conflict between my counter program and blogger, which unfortuantely I was able to resolve and had to switch companies. Fortuantely the new company seems pretty nifty. Check 'em out at webstats.com.

The absence was mostly caused by my extremely busy last week. I have some news on the grad school front, but I'm still a few days from being able to post about it.

neat history linkage

Virtual Museum of New France - we all know how I feel about the New France
National Archives of Canada
Canada's Virtual Museum
Canadian History Scholar's Portal - ie, sites that have been professionally vetted for accurate content

Read just like me

My Second Term Book List at amazon.ca, just in case you'd like to get a closer look at (or buy) anything that I'm talking about in these pages.

we get titles with these things now?

Subtitle: Poem of the Week

Walt Whitman was probably the second poet that I ever encoutnered. (The first being Dennis Lee.) When I was younger (we're talking about 3), my family went on a vacation to Bon Echo Provincial Park which is just beautiful. If you click on that link there's a beautiful picture of the park, where you can see some of the rocks in the park, which if you could see them up close, actually have petroglyphs (prehistoric artwork) drawn on them, which fascinated me as a child (as well as the fact that the lake was over 100 feet deep, which was so deep that even my dad couldn't touch the bottom). There is a nice monument to Whitman there, as the former owner of the park was a devotee of his work (and an early Canadian feminist), so I've chosen To You as this week's poem:

Whoever you are, I fear you are walking the walks of
dreams,
I fear these supposed realities are to melt from under your
feet and hands,
Even now your features, joys, speech, house, trade, manners,
troubles, follies, costume, crimes, dissipate away from you,
Your true soul and body appear before me,
They stand forth out of affairs, out of commerce, shops,
work, farms, clothes, the house, buying, selling, eating,
drinking, suffering, dying.

Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you
be my poem,
I whisper with my lips close to your ear,
I have loved many women and men, but I love none better
than you.

(There's more to the poem, just click on the link above to read the rest).

So today's Feminist Theory discussion centered on the concept of 'essentialism'. Talk about interesting (in an 'ow-my-head-huuuuurts' kind of way) and it actually sparked a pretty good deal of controversy within the class. In my own ignorance, I find it hard to believe that anybody can believe in essentialism, but maybe I should explain what it actually is first. It is the idea that things (ie, people) have something essential to them that transcends history, time, culture, society, etc. and is fundamentally unchangeable. In feminist theory, this applies specifically to the concepts of gender. Is it possible to define something as essentially male or essentially female? (Naturally, biological factors--including the ability to bear children--are outside this realm).

I would argue that gender (which is not the same thing as sex--sex is biologically determined) is not essential; that it is determined by our old friends society and culture, but apparently many of the classmates would disagree with that, and argue that there is something essential to being a 'woman'.

+Essentialism (from Emory) - this one is pretty close to the handout we got in class today, so it is especially good.
+from Queertheory.com - a collection of online essentialist resources

It is interesting to think about what traits we identify with gender: aggression, maternal instincts (and I finally grasp the concept of gendered language!), the enjoyment of certain genres of movies/books/art/music/etc., cleanliness, domestic abilities...and of course it is nearly impossible to separate yourself from the concepts of essentialism in any meaningful way.

In the summers I work as an interpreter at a historic site, and I get to dress in period (17th century) costume. I dress as a seventeenth century man (largely because there were never women at my historic site) and now that I think about it, there are different behaviours that I adopt when dressing like a man:
+sitting with legs open
+more authorative walk
+standing straighter
+attempting to imagine myself as illiterate

I don't really see any of these behaviours as essentially masculine, though--especially since some of the other tasks I perform at Ste-Marie would have been/still are "feminine" work (cooking, sewing, knitting) that would have been performed by the men, because, well, there weren't any women around.

Yay, new comment system is installed! Hurray for technology. Rache and Mila, I expect lots of feedback!

Sometimes political correctness is just stupid.

No, I take that back. It is not stupid to be politically correct. People are stupid.

To wit, in my Memories of Paris class this morning, we were looking at a Jean Cocteau piece that described Picasso as being like a Borgia pope. When asked to unpack the significance of that comparison, one of my classmates said, "Well, the Pope has power invested in him by God, or other higher power..." I pretty much tuned out at that point, because really, if you're talking about CATHOLICISM, it's okay to say GOD, because that's what Catholics believe. It's not an 'other higher power'. It's just God.

I know this is a little on the ranty side but sometimes my classmates drive me crazy.

I went to a really good free lecture up at the school yesterday by a journalist by the name of Gqynne Dyer, a Canadian ex-pat living in England and working independently. It was pretty cool to see, as in the past the admin has had some difficulty in finding speakers that people actually want to see and stuff, but the theatre was actuallyf ull of both faculty and students.

He has a couple of well written articles on the website, which I highly recommend checking out if you have a chance, and he has a couple of books as well. The newest one is called "Ignorant Armies," and, well, I'm all about gratuitous Matthew Arnold references. He made some interesting predictions about the state of world politics over the course of the next four years, and talked a lot about the rise of the neo-conservative movement in the US.

Being able to go to stuff like this is one of my favourite parts about being in university.

My SSHRC application is in. Now all I have to do is start filling out actual application forms for the schools I'm applying to, and round up all my transcripts. I'm really not sure where I want to go. The three schools I'm applying to all have aspects of their programs that I really like...I have a feeling a big part of my decision will rest on who wants to pony up in terms of RA and TA positions and such. Of course, if I don't get an Ontario Graduate Scholarship or a SSHRC grant, I'll probably find myself in back at Nipissing for Teacher's College regardless....

+University of Guelph - Guelph is about sixty miles west of Toronto, so it's the closest to home for me, and it's a pretty good school. Their department has the focus on Canadian Lit and Postcolonial Studies that I want, they have some pretty famous names in the faculty (Thomas King, Donna Palmateer Pennee), and if i can get a TAship, it pays over $4200/term...which is nothing to sneeze at.
+University of Ottawa - More of a "big name" school, to be sure, but not as strong in the areas I want to cover (though they do have some good theory stuff) and I find their department very unresponsive to requests for help. If I get a TA position here I will be teaching undergrad grammar and technical writing classes, and that scares me. I do like the school, and it does have a PhD program as well as the MA, which could be useful.
+Carleton University - This school doesn't have the best department, but it is looking to improve its reputation in the field, which could be an excellent opportunity for me. It's also in Ottawa (or just outside it). They also have the CanLit connection and the PoCo, as well, and since they have no PhD program, all of the department's time and effort is focused on the MA students. An added advantage of both Ottawa and Carleton is that I'm allowed to take up to 1.0 credits from whichever school I'm not attending, and that I would have access to the libraries at both schools.

So that's kind of the thought for now...and I'm no closer to making a decision.

Having finally decided in favour of feminist theory (narrow victory over trauma theory), I am now enjoying the wonders of Mary Elizabeth Braddock's Lady Audley's Secret. (Note: That link will take you to a partially complete online posting of the text for Lady Audley's Secret). I've never taken a course in nineteenth century lit, so my exposure to this time period has been largely limited to Rossetti's "Goblin Market" in first year and then Dickens and Great Expectations (among other stuff, like Matthew Arnold's "Dover Beach," aka my favourite poem) in the second year British Literature survey.

Lady Audley's Secret is what is called a sensation novel, which is (in many ways) a precursor to both detective fiction and romance novels. McMaster University has a pretty neat site called Victorian Sensationalism Online which has some pretty good online resources and more information on the genre, if you're interested. If I ever have a chance to read for pleasure again (plea-sure?) I want to pick up a copy of Wilkie Collins's The Woman In White, which in light of Timothy Findley's Headhunter and the character of Emma Berry, could have some pretty interesting implications.

I'm really starting to see why the Victorian literature is so appealing...there is something absolutely fantastic about the idea of a newly literate public. To say nothing of Matthew Arnold, the emergence of English literature as a subject worthy of study in universities, and the whole idea of using literature as a way to build national consciousness and identity. My MA work is kind of going to be an off shoot of that, only dealing with Canada and Canadian literature.

Poem of the Week:*
Orphan Hand
by Maria Dunn

Home Boys (or Bernardo's Boys) were sent from UK streets to work as farm hands around Peterborough and across Canada. Most had dismal lives, little short of slave labour.

My name it might as well be John
For all you care from where I've come,
They sent me here to your homestead
To earn my daily bread.

From London Streets they boarded me
The gutter children put to sea,
At eight years old you took me in
But you never called me kin.

Is there no one in this dreary land
With a kind word for an orphan hand
I work like hell and pay my share
Where's the Christian look in your hardened stare
That Blackened ship that carried me
I wish had tossed me to the sea
My trouble would have reaped at least
A long embrace and a moment's peace

Your hardship in this cold, cold land
Left you a tired bitter man.
Your own you still allow small joy
But you're blind to a fatherless boy.

My filthy hands and matted hair,
My feet in rags in winter's air.
Worked like a dog, kept like a pig
Where's the life I am to live?

This land of opportunity
Is no place for a lad like me,
Cast from the old world on the new,
My worth to ever prove.

I'd have better been a tinker's son
Than a homeboy from the London slums,
Sent to this barren farm alone
And worked to skin and bones.

*This is actually a song, written by Maria Dunn, though I am familiar with a version by Aengus Finnan, who is an alumni of NipU's BEd program. I chose this song as a poem of the month because my maternal great-grandfather was one of the Barnardo children, who arrived in Canada in 1880.

New Year's Resolution #2: Update AcademiaNuts on a weekly basis and turn it into a sensical, useful resource tool for myself and any others who are interested in such thins.

So in this inaugral post (with semi-spiffy new layout), I would like to offer you a fun way to procrastinate: Canucklehead Quizzes from The Canadian Encyclopedia. It's good fun, and it has over sixty quizzes in a variety of categories that cover all kinds of Canadian terrain.

Also, Paul Graham has an interesting article on nerds here. Don't really agree with him, but a good read none the less.

John Lye, of St. Catharine's, Ontario's Brock University (known to most undergrads as 'if you can walk and talk, you can go to Brock') has a neat breakdown of theoretical perspectives with relation to reader reponse criticism and theory:

Phenomenological view:
The text functions as a set of instructions for its own processing, but is as well indeterminate, needs to be completed, to be concretized. The 'reality' of the text lies between the reader and the text: it is the result of the dialectic between work and reader.

Reader Online also has a lot of information, including essays and articles. Extra neat because it is not limited to just literature.

So. Back in school at last. What I'm actually doing this year is a little different from what's on the list below, specifically regards to my Gender class, which I've swapped for one on trauma theory instead. That's not til next term, however.

This term is Intro to Lit Theory and Criticism, currently focusing on Reader-Response Criticism, Post-Colonial Lit: Southern Africa, Studies in Genre: Detective Fiction, Honours Seminar: Timothy Findley and good old Canadian Social History.

I'm also working as a research assistant for one of the new profs, and will be researching how universities in Ontario approach literacy and ensure that their students are capable of writing at a university level.

Okay. So I'm lame. A lot. I'm hoping that next year, things will go more smoothly as I tackle my final year of my degree and get to take some pretty neat English courses, and also have more of a sense of what I want to be doing with this blog.

So. Next year:
+Literary Theory and Criticism: Mary Shelley's Frankenstein
+Literary Theory and Criticism: Gender **
+Post-Colonial Literature I: South Africa
+Post-Colonial Literature II: the Carribean
+Studies In Genre I: Detective Fiction
+Texts and Intertexts II: Images of the Underworld
+Honours Seminar III: Timothy Findley
+Honours Seminar IV: Paris and Modernism
+Themes in Canadian Social History

**Because I haven't studied gender enough already. (Gender is one of the primary foci of our English department)

I have the same prof for both Post-Colonials, the Paris Honours seminar and Detective Fiction. She's gonna love me.

W. W. Norton's 18th century site

Woo! Back at school, post-reading week break and ready to sink my teeth into the last six weeks of my third year here at Nipissing. Or, conversely, be sunk by missing the better part of the two weeks prior to my break as a result of producing a play and catching 'the wrath of' virus.

So. yeah. Sixteen days until my 20th century essay is due, and I decided to change my topic today. This actually isn't that bad as I have not reallly even started to work on it yet, aside from some cursory forays into postmodernism, and I have to do a presentation on that anyway, so it's a total waste.

Except now I have to write about the commentary that the 'text within a text' makes on 'art' and 'the artist' in Woolf's "Between the Acts" and Stoppard's "Travesties". That should be fun.

Blogging from a Graphic Design computer lab at my boyfriend's college, where I am hanging out for the day and thinking about postmodernism. And Macintosh computers. And why I don't really like Macs.

So. Trying to ascertain where exactly postmodernism diverges from modernism is not exactly the most simple task, but there is a certain amount of fun in the challenge. Professor Mary Klages has a pretty neat article here (snaps to Steve for that one). Unfortunately, thus far most of the articles I've accessed through Nipissing's online resources have been somewhat less than helpful, and I left my Abrams' Glossary of Literary Terms in North Bay. It's Reading Week, at long last.

Anyhow, I'm trying to put together both a presentation on post-modernism as well as a comparative research essay using Krapp's Last Tape and Tom Stoppard's Travesties to explain the break between modernism and postmodernism.

Does anyone else want to hyphenate 'postmodernism'? Perhaps that's a postmodernist tendency in and of itself.

We're doing Samuel Beckett in 20th Century literature; specifically "Krapp's Last Tape". While I didn't really care for it, even after watching a video taped performance of it, it did spawn an interesting discussion about memory, posterity and why we save things.

Why do we write? (Or tape record, or whatever). A sense of posterity, of immortality, perhaps? That certainly comes into play for me, I think. It's also useful as an organizational system; a way of tracking notes and thoughts and impressions. For some, like Tinka, it isn't about what is written, but about the physical act of writing. I think it helps me to contextualize my life; to place things in perspective: looking back, it is interesting to see what I once considered important and to evaluate if it still is.

More later, and a new poem of the month.

Gah. I've been really lazy with this this term. Probably because I'm naturally a very lazy person. It's almost time to start picking classes for next year--what fun!

Updating from the school, which is kind of a neat change from being in the natural disaster that is my room. On the Canadian history front, we did treaties and Canada's aboriginal people this week, which was extremely interesting. Duncan Campbell Scott, who was also a poet that I studied earlier this year in Canadian Literature, was the deputy minister of Indian Affairs at the time, and he was responsible for the majority of policy concerning Canada's aboriginal people. The effects of these policies are still felt today. They resulted in residential schools where children were taken from their families and forced to learn 'white' ways. At these schools, tuberculosis ran rampant and killed more than half the children that came through that system. DC Scott was aware of the problem but unwilling to spend the money to fix it.

Ironically, his poetry shows a more sympathetic view of the native people in Canada, and contrasts quite sharply with his political record.

Native peoples did not have the right to vote in Canadian elections until 1960.

I have been slacking lately on the blogfront, no? Well, today I think I may be back in the saddle, so to speak. We're currently studying Virginia Woolf in 20th century, and more specifically Between the Acts and our prof showed us the film version today, and it was fascinating. I don't think of myself as much of a "feminist" (as a friend put it today, "I'm a small-f feminist") but the movie was quite well done--Eileen Atkins was quite neat, and did a good job of conveying the fire and wit of her character--and it really made me think. It is definitely a work that still manages to retain meaning today, and it makes me sad because I will never be that good of a writer.

So instead of wasting your time with more prose, here are some links: a response to / critique of the essay and a Canadian literature magazine for women named after the piece.

Going back to school is always strangely exciting for me. New paper, new pens...what's not to like? I mean, aside from expensive school books, lengthy line-ups to pay tuition, the administration's decision to hold back scholarship and bursary cheques until next Monday, and of course, the English department's decision to revamp all of the degree requirements 3/4 of the way through my university career.

In all seriousness, I like school again, which is a good sign. I'm thinking of taking out a subscription to one of the journals on Canadian lit that the University of Toronto Press publishes (special student discount) because I have a feeling that grad school for me will end up dealing with post-colonial literature, particularly Canadian.

I got some of my marks back today, and they're about what I expected: 78 on my "tarot in Eliot's The Wasteland" essay (which apparently is good for that prof, and she wants a copy of it for her files); 81 on my Canadian lit midterm; and 82 final mark in my pre-Confederation Canadian history class (post-confederation starts tomorrow). There's room for improvement, but I think I did alright for myself.

New comments system has been implemented as Haloscan appears to have crapped out on me, damn them. Let me know if it's okay.

The second term of my third year of post-secondary education starts at 10 a.m. tomorrow. As I handed in a number of assignments and midterms and such prior to the break, I am hopeful that at least some of these will be returned to me tomorrow. Since everything was due at the end of the term, I don't have any 'real' idea of how well (or poorly, as the case may be) I'm doing in any of my classes except the 3-credit Canadian history I took last term (the second half is this term). My mark for the should be available tomorrow, come to think of it. I also get to go pick up my scholarship money, which is going to be about $500 more than I expected--the school sent me a letter announcing that they're giving me a bursary, which is welcome news. And then, of course, I get to go pay my tuition, which will not be fun.

All in all, I think it will be good to get back to school.

My sister is busy making out her university applications this week, and is rather unbearable as a result. Apparently I was much the same three years ago, though I don't remember it that way. She is looking at taking Early Childhood Education, Gender Equality and Social Justice, and social work-type programs. She is (hooray!) applying to Nip (for Gender Equality and Social Justice) which I find a bit funny, as I hadn't realized that it was something she'd be interested in, and also because, well, GE&SJ was better known as Women's Studies until this year. The more I think about it, though, the more it makes sense--although I'd still rather blind myself than take Women's Studies. (It's just not my bag).

University selection is such a funny thing. I applied to Queen's and York as well as Nip, and was accepted to all three for English...things certainly would have turned out differently had I not chosen Nipissing. I wound up at York earlier this year for a Canadian University Press conference and was amazed by the school: it seems unlikely I could've survived even one year there. It was so big. Most people go to high schools bigger than Nipissing is.

I think, for the most part, I am happy to be where I am, although I do find myself wondering about the possibilities, sometimes...

The CBC's Canada Reads is trying to choose a book that all Canadians should read. Their choice for last year was Michael Ondaatje's In the Skin of a Lion, which is something of a precursor to his more famous The English Patient although I think I like it more of the two. I just find it interesting because I know that until I started actually listening to the CBC on the radio, I would have scoffed at the idea of CBC being all that influential--because really, who listens to public radio? And yet, and yet...once Ondaatje's novel was chosen as the novel that Canada should read, it went right on to the bestseller's list.

I'm still trying to figure out which books and authors I think a Canadian lit course should look at. It isn't so much that I have quibbles with what we are studying, but there are still a lot of thing I wish that we would study: Robertson Davies, Ann Marie MacDonald, Farley Mowat, Gabrielle Roy, to name only a very few.

My pick for the novel all Canadians should read? Either The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood or Fifth Business by Robertson Davies.

History exam went well, I think. I hope. I'm not sure. Actually, I'm reasonably certain that I did fine.

But the good news is that I got an 88 on the essay on Who Killed Canadian History? Which is worth 30% of my final mark. Boo yeah. And since it's above an 85, I think I might ask the prof to submit it to Hindsight, which is a new undergraduate history journal that's been founded at my school. *knocks on wood*

I hope things turn out as well in my other classes.

bleh. studying for exams in first year courses really sucks. Why do I do this to myself? Oh, right, because I figured that if I wanted to teach history at a secondary school level, I needed to know something about Canadian history.

I'm taking my BA in English Studies, but I'm also in a program stream called "Orientation to Teaching" that is unique to my school. In essence, it's supposed to help figure out if I want to teach, and also provides me with courses that (theoretically) will help me as a teacher. I'm in the secondary stream because I want to teach high school. Now, in order to qualify for the Faculty of Education in Ontario in what's called an I/S program (Intermediate/Senior; grades 7-12), you need to have two teachable subjects. You can do your degree in anything from Sociology to Astrophysics to Basket Weaving, but you still have to come up with 30 credits (5 full courses) in your first teachable subject and 18 (3 full courses) in your second. If you want to teach in Junior/Intermediate (grades 4-10) you only need to have 30 credits in one teachable subject, and if you want to teach Primary/Junior (kindergarten to grade 6) you don't need anything aside from your regular BA.

You have the option of doing either the 3 year general and 4 year honours BA. I've chosen the 4 year, for a variety of reasons relating to a) it keeps me from haivng to grow up for an extra year; b) it leaves open the door to grad school; and c) I'll make more money (substantially more money) if I end up becoming a teacher.

Anyhow, I guess the point of all this is that English is my first teachable subject and History is going to be my second. I took Europe Sine 1500 in first year and Early Modern Europe last year, and I figure that since a big part of high school history is Canadian history, I ought to have a better basis in it if I'm going to teach. Which is why I'm in a first year course.

I have to take four more English courses in order to satisfy the requirements of my degree next year, which leaves me with one free course...if I take another history, it'll give me an official minor, which I like the idea of. I'd like to do another Canadian history, too, I think...

Scary, scary concept: In checking the site stats (you can check them at the bottom of the page, if you'd like), I noticed that someone had come here from 'turnitin.com'.

As I'm sure most of you know, turnitin.com is designed for teachers to discourage plagiarism in their students. As far as I understand, it works almost like a search engine: the prof types in key sentences from the student's work, and it searches its database for works that contain those key phrases. This, of course, implies that someone, somewhere has hit this page when searching for plaigarism.

I suppose the logical inference is that my 18th century prof has checked out my paper on Swift's Houyhnhnms and right reason, since the thesis statement is blogged a few entries below this one. And that's not plaigarism. I have the right to post my own work, right? Don't I?

Despite this, part of me is scared that somehow, I'm going to get in trouble for blogging about my academic life at Nipissing, or that I will, somehow, have inadvertently plaigarised something. Because that would really suck.

Having almost forgotten to post a Poem of the Month, I will now rectify that. this is actually a song, and not a poem. The band has a soft spot in my heart because they're from the same small town in Scotland that my dad grew up in. I seem to keep coming back to it this time of year, too, just as I begin to get swamped with schoolwork.

I've never seen you look like this without a reason
Another promise fallen through
Another season passes by you
I never took the smile away from anybody's face
And that's a desperate way to look
For someone who is still a child

In a big country dreams stay with you
Like a lover's voice fires the mountainside
Stay alive

I thought that pain and truth were things that really mattered
But you can't stay here with every single hope you had shattered
I'm not expecting to grow flowers in a desert
But I can live and breathe
And see the sun in wintertime

In a big country dreams stay with you
Like a lover's voice fires the mountainside
Stay alive
Stay alive

So take that look out of here it doesn't fit you
Because it's happened doesn't mean you've been discarded
Pull up your head off the floor—come up screaming
Cry out for everything you ever might have wanted

I thought that pain and truth were things that really mattered
But you can't stay here with every single hope you had shattered
I'm not expecting to grow flowers in a desert
But I can live and breathe
And see the sun in wintertime
In a big country dreams stay with you
Like a lover's voice fires the mountainside
Stay alive
--Big Country

The essay for my 20th Century Lit class is now finished. I have exmained and dissected the use of tarot imagery in the Waste Land to good effect, I think , and this is one of the essays I've felt best about this year. To me, it feels solid. Of course, in the often arbitrary world of English Studies, this likely means I will end up with a 63 on it, but I remain hopeful that the Professor will welcome my ideas, and hopefully not see them as wrong or pedestrian. I really want to do well, and I know this is a good essay. I just don't know if it's what she's looking for.

But it's done, and that means I have only my Canadian history exam on Saturday left to worry about, which is a good feeling indeed.

Steph and I had our marks returned to us for the Brebeuf: Hero or Madman? presentation we did, and we scored an 83 on the presentation and a 90 on the process report we did for it, which means that things are well within the realm of Canadian literature.

I've been amusing myself during boring classes as of late by trying to reimagine the syllabus for Canadian lit. It's not so much that I have any real problems with the syllabus as it stands--everything on it is worthy in its own way, I suppose--but there is a lot more to Canadian literature than simply what we've studied, and there are definitely a lot of books and plays and poems that I would like to study within the class.

Perhaps I'll post further thoughts on what I think should be taught in a Canadian Lit courses later. Any suggestions? Who is the quintessential Canadian author?

I seem to be having a problem with ridiculously alliterative sentences in essays and midterms these days. Sample from 18th century midterm: "...scathing scatalogical satire of Shadwell's shortcomings..."

How do I come up with this stuff?

I'm about to start writing my Canadian midterm (we're in the computer lab, which always leads to panic) but I have a cue card with a thesis statement, so I think I'm in good hands.

My ridiculously alliterative thesis statement for my 18th Century essay:
In “[A] Satyr On Reason and Mankind,” the Earl of Rochester persuasively argues that mankind is not so very different from the animals we disdain. His description of ‘right reason’ makes an excellent backdrop for Jonathan Swift’s portrayal of the Houyhnhns in the fourth book of Gulliver’s Travels. In bestowing horses with a finer sense of reason (certainly one Rochester might approve of), Swift exacts a wicked satire on his fellow humans. In Book IV of Gulliver’s Travels, the actions of Lemuel Gulliver’s crew embody the behaviours that amaze and shock Swift’s ultra-rational Houyhnhns. Remarkably, Swift’s equitable equines do stay true to Rochester’s concept of right reason, just as the humans Gulliver has left behind exemplify the characteristics Rochester so rightly ridicules.

Any comments or feedback? Have I lost it?

I read Djuna Barnes' Nightwood this weekend and did not think that I had enjoyed it all that much. AFter writing a brief quiz on it today, we had a pretty good discussion about some of the more problematic aspects of the book, and I realized that I'd actually thought a lot more about the book than I'd realized, and that I'd formed some pretty legimitate opinions about the book. It reminded me a lot of David Lynch's Mulholland Drive, I think. As a result, I am going to attempt to cobble together some sort of essay for 20th Century about the correlation between the two. Certainly there are a lot of similarities, but it reamins to be seen whether or not I can make a case for intertext between the two.

Ah. I love the smell of academia in the morning. Except for the morning part. It's been a long time coming, but I've finally hit my crunch time. Starting next Monday, I have a presentation, essay, midterm or exam every other day until December 7th. Yuck. It's going to be harsh: Brebeuf presentation on Monday, 18th Century essay on Wednesday, Soc midterm on Friday, 18th century and Canadian lit midterms on Monday, 20th century essay on Wednesday, and Canadian history exam on Saturday. So this will essentially make or break me for this academic year. (Not quite, but certainly close enough). I am not nearly stressed out enough as of yet, although I'm sure that is coming.

The Canadian history essay was finally finished and handed in this morning, much to my relief, and I found some really cool quotes to preface it with:
Canada will be a strong country when Canadians of all provinces feel at home in all parts of the country, and when they feel that all Canada belongs to them.
-Pierre Elliott Trudeau

We have achieved the most amazing things, a few million people opening up half a continent. But we have not yet found a Canadian soul except in time of war.
-Lester B. Pearson

What is being said here? Too often, everything and nothing.
-Bryan Palmer

Yesterday, while perusing the selection of vintage books at the local Value Village (a second hand shop), I came across something truly wonderful: a copy of the Ontario Reader (fourth reader) from the "year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred eighty-five". The Ontario Reader was in many ways an all-purpose document; it would be shared between many readers over many years. It pretty much covers the spectrum of British writers, with the odd addition, here and there, of Americans like Longfellow and Canadians like D'Arcy McGee (one of the fathers of Confederation). It also includes a section on Expression, or How to Read Properly Out Loud. It's really neat.

I've been re-reading some of my first year history essays in hopes of finding areas of actual improvement. I found a great sentence in one of them:

"Likewise, Troeltsch is saddled with a predilection to unnecessary wordiness, unfortunately obscuring his potentially valuable observations."

A predilection to unnecessary wordiness? I'm sorry, what was that? I couldn't hear you over the sounds of the pot screaming, "Black! Black!" at the kettle.

Time for another school-related rant: I am doing my BA(H) in English Studies, but I am also in a program called OTT (Orientation to Teaching). OTT is unique to my university; in essence, if I take three specific courses and maintain a 70% average on my undergraduate degree, I am guaranteed to be accepted into the Faculty of Education at Nipissing for the year following my graduation. I've taken two of the three courses already (the non credit practicum course and Developmental Psychology for Educators) and am currently enrolled in Sociology of Education.

I. HATE. IT.

More than I've ever hated anything before. More than I hated the grade eleven co-op class I took when I was in grade thirteen. More than I hated Psych last year, and it was at 8:30 a.m. twice a week, so I had a pretty healthy amount of hate for it. Sociology makes me want to poke out my eyeballs. Not because it makes me suicidal, or depressed, but because poking out my eyeballs would be something different, a change of pace, something to prove that I am still, in fact, alive. I don't think that it is even sociology in general that I hate, but sociology of Education in specific: the class often seems to be little more than a forum for my professor to spew anti-government rhetoric aimed at ensuring that the next generation of educators has the proper amount of disrespect for the provincial government that structures education. More than that, much of this is very specifically targeted towards Mike Harris' Conservative government, which has been in power in Ontario since 1995.* Now, I am not a fan of the Tories persay--my mom's a nurse, and they butchered health care; I'm also a product of the education system, which has certainly felt the pinch of the "Common Sense Revolution"--but I'm smart enough to know that a university class is not the place to air one's views about the current political system. The class is called Sociology of Education, not Problems I Have With the Tories and How They've FUBARed Education In Ontario. In essence, I've paid $800+ to be bombarded by anti-Tory, pro-union rhetoric for a year.

But it doesn't end there. It's also an extremely pro-feminist class, with occasional Marxist leanings. So much of what we discuss is so completely irrelevant to what it's actually like to teach in a classroom. At least in Psych there was a feeling of actually getting somewhere, of learning things that would be someday be useful. I have nothing like that in this class. Here's a sample from one of our lectures:

Critical Theory and Critical Pedogogy:

Uses a dialectical approach and attempts to bridge the gap between theory and educational practice.

The perspective allows us to see both the domination and liberation aspects of school so that teachers can recognize that students are at a disadvantage in the classroom because their values and beliefs are not congruent with the schools.

Because there's absolutely no chance that students might go to a school where their values and beliefs are accepted and taught? But wait, there's more:

Feminists drawing on Postmodern Theory call into question the privileged position of male theorists who are predominantly male, to examine how their assumptions and thoughts affect their writing practices.
Quotes taken from The Sociology of Education homepage

Granted, I may be somewhat unsympathetic because my prof has no concept of things like spelling, grammar or apostraphization, and likes to print overheads in size 24 font that make me feel stupid when I read them because the text is so freaking BIG, but I guarantee that there will be at least one day this year that I am going to walk out of the class midlecture. Grr!

In slightly less sardonic, slightly more optimistic news, I'm getting lots done on my Canadian History paper. I must admit to being slightly surprised to discover that historians are such snide people. I thought that was reserved for humanities students.

Modernist Limerick #1

Modern literature is simply the best
it puts our minds to the test
Pound the Wilde Stein, Re-Joyce in Eliot
I have measured out my life with coffeespoons
gas gas quick boys
I'm Jack in the country and
Earnest in town
FRAGMENTATION!!!
alienation
constipation
...oh Algy

Ah, the joys of 18th century literature.

I continue to be at a loss for modern cultural texts influenced by Eliot and the Wasteland. I asked my prof today if she could think of any, and she also came up blank, which was frustrating, because she developed the topics...Anyhow, some/any help would be appreciated, if anyone out there has ideas...please and thank you.

I am exhausted by school. I am exhausted by the prospect of being in school for the next year and a half, bare minimum, to finish my BA. I am exhausted by the concept of grd school and by the concept of teachers' college and its neverending stream of group work. I am exhausted by essays. I am exhausted by lectures. I am exhausted by group work, which has no place in a university class when it's used every single day. I am exhausted by seminars. I am exhausted by overheads. I am exhausted by student government. I am exhuasted by my own inability to take proper notes. I am exhausted by Granatstein's theories of political history. I am exhausted by Mikhail Bakhtin. I am exhausted by Atwood, by Leacock, by Moodie. I am exhausted by Pepys, by Swift, by Wilmot. I hate school right now and want nothing more than to run away to Denial, Mexico to live out the rest of my days in the sun reading nothing more intellectual than Archie comic books.

Of course, I will not do this. I will Soldier On; it's what people in my family do. I will finish my undergrad out with an average slightly above 80%, and maybe win another award. I will then teach high school to students and inspire them to the heights of apathy I have reached.

I know there is a light at the end of this tunnel; it's just a matter of finding it. Apathy fades quickly, and hopefully soon I'll be back on the road to being intrigued by Learning, Ideas and Knowledge. I hope. I'm in trouble if things don't start to change...

I forgot to mention yesterday that we got our Portrait quizzes back in twentieth. I hadn't thought that I would do well on it because I missed a few of the questions (or thought that I did); in particular the one regarding the mythological origins of Stephen's name. Unfortunately, my certainty in knowing that Dedalus was Greek in origin did not really extend to knowing any particular on the myth, and I had a feeling that "Villain on old school Hercules cartoon that used to be on at six in the morning" was not what Professor Phillips had in mind. I ended up writing about the origins of the name Stephen: He was the first Christian (Catholic) martyr, and he was stoned to death--something I found ironic considering that he is now the patron saint of stonecutters. Phillips gave me a few bonus marks for knowing this, which brought my mark up quite a bit. Once again, my extensive [snort] knowledge of useless information pays off.

The rest of this week is probably going to be somewhat crazy, between play rehearsals, Star Wars Halloween and turning twenty-one, so I want to post the poem of the month for November today. It's by (yet another) Canadian author, Archibald Lampman, who went to Trinity College in Toronto and is considered to be one of the most important Canadian authors of the 19th century. Along with a few other guys (Charles G.D. Roberts among them), he helps make up the "Confederation poets"; some of whom were good, and some of whom wrote drivel about Canada's confederation. [Historical Note: Canada ceased to be a colony of Britain and became a country on July 1st 1867; however, only 4 of the 10 provinces and 3 territories that Canada consists of today were part of the country at this point: Ontario, Québec, Noca Scotia and New Brunswick. The other nine were added over the course of the next 130+ years, the most recent being Nunavut, which was created in 1999.]

In November
The leafless forests slowly yield
To the thick-driving snow. A little while
And night shall darken down. In shouting file
The woodmen's carts go by me homeward-wheeled,
Past the thin fading stubbles, half concealed,
Now golden-gray, sowed softly through with snow,
Where the last ploughman follows still his row,
Turning black furrows through the whitening field.
Far off the village lamps begin to gleam,
Fast drives the snow, and no man comes this way;
The hills grow wintry white, and bleak winds moan
About the naked uplands. I alone
Am neither sad, nor shelterless, nor gray,
Wrapped round with thought, content to watch and dream.
--Archibald Lampman

We also got our essay assignments in twentieth, and one of the topics involves taking one of the modernist works we've studied this term and comparing it to a cultural text produced after 1960 that either references it directly or is influenced by it...I'm thinking either 'Prufrock' (compared to the Crash Test Dummies' "Afternoons and Coffeespoons") or 'The Wasteland' compared to something else (maybe my play I wrote last year, if I could swing that). In essence, this is the part where I hit other people up for suggestions on finding a cultural text influenced by the Wasteland, be it music, art, film, literature, comic books, whatever. I have a few ideas, but other perspectives are always appreciated.